MAX WOLF REVOLUTIONS
by beresfordjd
Summary: Here is the first part of my very own tribute to "Christian Humber Reloaded", which is simply the best fanfiction ever in my opinion. Of course, this is nowhere as great as the original. Needs more super sayin wolves and more Bionicles, I think.
1. Part 1

PART 1

THE BEGINNING  
They say the Pokémon world is all about fun and laughter. That´s fucking bullshit if you ask me.  
For me, life in the Pokémon world has been nothing but one living nightmare.  
I´m (or better said, I once was) a Poochyena, by the way and I used to live with my family in the route 101 from Hoenn. At first, everything was fine, but then some dipshit trainers started to hunt us and tried to capture us, so we have to run away, but my mom and my brothers were captured by one of those despicable shitheads. I never saw them again, after they were captured but my father told me that all the captured Pokémon are instantly brainwashed, so they became slaves from the humans and there is no hope for them, so I had to forget about my family, trying to survive the best I could along with my father.

A FUCKING TRAP  
One day, the humans captured us and brought us to some sort of lab which was hidden inside of one cave: those humans weren´t Pokémon trainers, instead of that there were scientist who worked for a criminal organization which wanted to create a super powered Pokémon which could allow them to take over the world.  
I hate those fuckers because they made us the subject of their disgusting and humiliating experiments, and I wanted to kill them, but I was so weak I couldn´t hurt them, so my revenge has to wait. My father felt in the same way about them.

THE BIRTH OF A BIG SUPER-POKEMON MONSTER  
One day those motherfuckers tried to take my father away from me in order to put him to sleep, and that triggered my transformation, and I became like some kind of big motherfucking monsters which instantly reduced all those scientist to a bloody pulp, and in that way I saved my father…or so I thought:  
Before dying, one of the remaining scientists gave a last order to his Pokémon team: To kill me no matter the cost. Those weren´t ordinary Pokémon, instead of that all of them were disgusting abominations created in that laboratory, most of them were considered like failed experiments, but were very powerful and faithful to the humans anyway, so when I murdered his master, all wanted to kill me, and I bravely fought against all those motherfuckers, along with my father, but our powers were too much for the laboratory and we made the whole place to explode.  
Somehow, I survived the explosion, but the impact sent me far away, to a distant land where I couldn´t find my father. My last fight against the mutated Pokémon left me too weak, and I feel unconscious.

IT IS SAFE?  
When I woke up, I didn´t knew where I was, but there was some food put in some recipient near to me, so I ate it, because it was way too hungry . Then I tried to ran away from that place, but I still had many wounds on my body and legs so I couldn´t move very well, so I was upset about that and I wanted to kill some humans.  
I was bored, and I couldn´t move very well, so I started to sleep again, and this time I dreamt about me killing some humans, but then someone wake me up. It was another Pokémon, who was all pink and fluffy like a balloon and said "Hi! Glad to meet you!"

MEETING OTHER POKEMON  
Soon, other Pokémon entered to my room: They were all small and seemed to be weak compared with me, but they all seemed happy anyway and asked me who I was. I told them that I was a Poochyena, but they didn´t believe me, because I didn´t look like a Poochyena anymore. I was way too big and monstrous-looking, so they believed I was a new kind of Pokémon.  
I asked them were I was, and the other Pokémon said I was in a Pokémon center, or something like that. I asked them if there were humans on that place, and they told me about their Pokémon masters. To my surprise, they didn´t hate the humans which captured them, but I guessed that it was because they were brainwashed like my father told me, so I said that I was going to kill the humans to release them, and they were so horrified about my idea that tow of them vomited.  
Then, the pink Pokémon who looked like a balloon then begged me to don´t kill her master because she loved her so much or some shit like that and then I said "Ok, I won´t kill them if you help me to escape from this place without being noticed for the humans" and they accepted to help me, distracting their stupid masters in order to gave me some time to escape from the Pokémon center.  
I didn´t feel tired anymore and I was cured from my wounds, so I was ready to start my quest to find my father, perhaps killing some humans in the process.

INTO THE WILDERNESS  
Once again in the wilderness, I tried to get some help from other Pokémon in order to find my father, but all of them were a bunch of cowards which were afraid of me, and ran away every time I was close, so I was on my own, at least for a while.  
Some Pokémon trainers which were members of a criminal band tried to capture me, but I sliced their throats with my fangs before they could even throw their fucking Pokeballs. Then, I ate their skin and their innards because I was very hungry.  
Only one of those trainers was able to escape from me, and he quickly spread the word about a monstrous giant Pokémon was killing trainers in the woods. Most people didn´t believe him, but there were a couple of stupid dipshits which actually thought that they could be able to capture me, so I killed them all, and then ate their innards and skin, leaving only their bare bones.  
Sometimes I released their captured Pokémon once they died; most of them just ran away after they saw me, but others tried to avenge their Pokémon masters, so I had to knock out them. I could have easily kill all of them just as their masters, but I didn´t hate them as much as the humans.

THE BATTLE AGAINST DEMON POKEMON  
At first nobody noticed the mysterious disappearing of some Pokémon trainers, but once the humans find the bones of a very famous Pokémon trainer, people started to realize that all those rumors about a giant, almost invincible Pokémon (Moi) in the woods were true, so the government sent an army of expert Pokémon trainers ("Fucking humans", I said myself "Aren´t they able to do anything for themselves? Everything in this shitty world is done in some way or another by the Pokémon. " Sometimes I asked why they are the so-called dominant species of the planet, then again, I´m not very much into philosophy or bullshit like that so I mostly didn´t care)  
Those Pokémon trainers had very powerful Pokémon, which could have easily defeated the Elite Four, but compared with me, they were nothing but a bunch of pansies, and one by one, they were all defeated. Anyway, I didn´t kill any of them (Well, almost any of them, I heard that a Raticate died from internal bleeding after fighting me) but their owners weren´t so lucky as they become my dinner, so the government was desperate about the situation and one day they sent a different kind of trainer, a guy with a very ridiculous outfit that not even the most extravagant celebrity from this decadent era would dare to wear…I soon realized that this guy wasn´t only a Pokémon trainer, but also a sorcerer, and he put a spell on his Pokémon, transforming them into demonic-like beings which were difficult to defeat and also were ugly as hell.  
I fought against all those motherfuckers in the best way I could, but every time I thought I killed those bastards, they come back to life, stronger and uglier than ever.  
Our fight almost destroys the entirety of the woods were I started to live, and the wild Pokémon had to ran away, but the battle wasn't over yet, so instead of killing those demonic Pokémon I tried to kill their masters. However, the fucker was a coward and used their monstrous servants as a living wall to protect him.  
That creepy weirdo said: "Give up, monster. There is no way you could defeat me, the mighty and powerful Solomon Phoenix!" and then he started to laugh in a maniacal way which I found to be retarded rather than intimidating.  
The intensity of the battle made me to develop a new kind of mutation, which made me more powerful and aggressive, so I used my new powers against those super-demonic Pokémons, but the shock of our energies created a cataclysm which opened a portal between dimensions and I was dragged there, a few seconds after I sliced the throat the "mighty" Solomon Phoenix with my fangs, much to the horror of his demonic Pokémon which insulted me and promised to take revenge of me some day. But I didn´t care.

IN ANOTHER DIMENSION  
I wake up in the middle of some strange field, filled with many strange plants and other weird stuff which made me realize I wasn't in the Pokémon world anymore.  
In that place, I was attacked by several giant creatures which looked like crabs with tentacles, but even when those abominations were bigger than me, I could kill them easily using my new powers.  
I spent some time fighting against the monster from that strange planet in order to survive, while trying to find a way back to my house. I killed hundreds of those ugly motherfuckers, but I couldn´t ate them because they had a horribly taste, and their blood was acid and poisonous.  
One day in that crazy planet I was so desperate to find food that I decided to ate one of those monstrous crab aliens, but I started to feel bad, and a few hours later I vomited and fell unconscious in the middle of some wasteland.

THE BLUE CAT ALIENS  
When I regained my senses, I found myself in some kind of alien village, surrounded by some vaguely humanoid creatures which looked like blue cats: They cured me using many medicinal herbs, which renewed my strength after I spent ten days sleeping.  
The aliens explained me that they were the Na'vi and that I was in Pandora, which wasn´t actually a planet, but a moon instead. However, I didn´t give a fuck about that and I asked them about a way in which I could return to my world.  
However, since I was Pokémon, they couldn´t understand me, but allowed me to stay with them because my weird appearance reminded them a mythological figure from their tree-hugging culture.  
Every night they told many stories about the meaning of existence and the role played by every living being in the universe, but I didn´t pay too much attention to them because I could barely understand their weird language and most of the time I was busy hunting monsters and wild animals that were trying to kill the Na'vi tribe.  
They put me a name, Tsu´ayo, which I hated, but they thought that it was an ok name for me.

ANOTHER GODDAMN INTERDIMENSIONAL PORTAL  
One day I was hunting a vicious monster which almost killed the leader of the Na'vi tribe. I found the monster and I fried it using some electrical powers I got in Pandora. However, that night there was some kind of electrical storm which opened a portal in the sky for a couple of seconds, and I was once again dragged to another distant place in the universe.

SHIT, WHERE I AM?  
I woke up in a wasteland with entire mountains made of bones and junk everywhere, and there I was attacked once again by some disgusting mutant slugs which threw acid by one of their sixth mouths. One of them spitted their stinky acid over me and shit, that was disgusting, so I made all of them explode using my new powers, spraying their repugnant bodily fluids everywhere.  
I wandered across that nightmarish region, trying to find somebody who could help me, and I only find more of those slugs (which I made to explode just for fun) insects and some mutant lizards.  
That night, acid rain started to fell from the sky, so I had to take refuge in some cave inside the nearby area.

INSIDE THE MOTHERFUCKING CAVE  
The cave was filled with lots of weird insects and mutated bats, but at least in that place I was safe of the acid rain.  
I slept well that night, and I dreamt about finding my father and being reunited with my lost family once again, and together we killed many humans just for fun. It was a nice dream.

THE WIZARD  
When I wake up in the cave, a strange light started to surround me, and then a very old man with pointy ears appeared in front of me:  
"Hello", the Old Man said. "My name is Clawdorf, and this is my cave. Welcome"  
"I don´t care who you are, just let me sleep if you don´t want to be killed, old fart" I told him, but surprisingly he wasn´t upset about that, and he said that he was a very powerful wizard and other kind of nonsense which I didn´t bother to listen, but his presence annoyed me, so I gently asked him to leave…A few seconds before trying to rip one of his arms with my fangs. Sadly, he had some kind of magic shield, so I couldn´t hurt him and that pissed me off.  
Then Clawdorf told me to don´t be sad about that, and asked me to become his apprentice, so I could learn magic from him and I accepted, thinking that perhaps I will have the chance to kill that old fart in the future.

WIZARD CITY  
Clawdorf showed me a way inside the cave which leaded towards a secret valley inside the mountains which was very beautiful, with magical woods populated by adorable creatures and pink ponies which were also delicious to eat (Were you really expecting any other kind of reaction from me?) However, the wizard didn´t care too much about that, much to my annoyance.  
Clawdorf then showed me the way to a city in the middle of the valley, where he lived with other wizards and their magic apprentices which were mostly homunculi they created with their magic, or were monsters from other planets and dimensions, which were training to become the most powerful magician of that crapsack world and then I asked him why would someone want to rule that world which was already fucked up and had nothing but trash and mutant slugs with acid fluids, and then Clawdorf told me a boring and preachy story about the selfishness, greed and negligence of the people from that planet, who didn´t gave a rat ass about the environment until it was too fucking late, and then a war for the last resources started and millions were killed, or some shit like that. Too be honest, I wasn´t paying too much attention.  
Anyway, according to Clawdorf most people were killed or turned into hideous mutant slugs during the war, so the only survivors were the wizards, which were able to protect a part of the world thanks to their magic, and then used their magic to get help from people of other worlds to reconstruct their civilization.  
"According to one of our old prophecies, the only one who could restore the world in time of crisis is the one who becomes the most powerful wizard of all, and that man is supposed to rule us with justice and benevolence." Clawdorf said, and I told him that he was full of shit. Then I asked him in which way I was related to that prophecy bullcrap and then he told me that he perceived a great power in me, which could made me the greatest of all wizards which was supposed to restore his fucked up world. And for that reason, he wanted me to become his apprentice. And then I said him: "No thanks, dude, because I´m actually a Pokémon from another dimension and I don´t gave a shit about saving or ruling this shitty world anyway, and the only thing I want is to return to my world to find my father."  
"But you have to help us…" he said. "You are a great candidate to become the greatest wizard ever, and you could save our world from its imminent destruction."  
I reminded him once again that I didn´t care about his world, but he insisted so much that I wanted to kill him once and for all, but he was protected by his magic shield. That pissed me off a lot, and then Clawdorf told me that if I accepted his training to become a magician, I would be able to kill him."  
I told him: "You are going to train me to kill you? What are you, dense? Are you retarded or something?" and then he told me that most of the people he loved and cared about died in the war, so he didn´t have very much reason to live anyway.  
"My magic is the only thing that keeps me alive against my will, so killing me would be actually something merciful…"  
"Okay," I said. "I will become you apprentice, but only because I hate you and I want to kill you."  
"Fine" Clawdorf said, and we shook hands as a sign of our temporal alliance.

HOW I BECAME MAX WOLF  
Clawdorf said that if I was going to be his apprentice, I needed a good wizard name and I told him that I already had a name: Tsu´ayo, the name the Na'vi tribe gave me, which I hated, but according to Clawdorf, that name wasn´t cool enough to impress others, so he decided to pick a new shitty name for me: Max Wolf.  
"Why Max Wolf?" I asked him "It is a stupid name!"  
"No,It´s not" Clawdorf answered me. "It is an awesome name! You are going to get like it with time."  
In those moments, I was so angry with the old wizard that I wanted to kill him and eat his innards. Sadly, his magic shield protected him once again, so I couldn´t hurt him and I had to vent my rage once again on the ponies and little animals from the land, which I ate after smashing their skulls.  
"One day I will smash Clawdorf's sku ll in the same way and I will eat his brain and his heart in front of him" I said myself, while I was eating the remains of those motherfucking pink ponies I killed.  
I decided to kept the Max Wolf name, but only because it was easier to memorize and pronounce than my Na'vi name, Tsu´ayo, which I also hated.

SLUG DUNGEON  
Clawdorf told me that in order to learn magic I had to assume and humanoid form, much to my annoyance and disgust.  
"Why Pokémon aren´t able to learn magic, you discriminative cunt?" I asked him, and the old fart told me that he didn´t made the rules of magic, and told me to just accept the weird circumstances of my situation.  
"Hey, you already suffered many transformations in the past, so what difference makes having another one?" he told me, and that was the moment when I regretted telling him the sad stories from my past during a brief moment of weakness. I accepted his stupid conditions anyway, so I had to transform into a human against my will.  
In order to do that, we had to go to some creepy ass dungeon which was in the part of the planet dominated by the mutant slugs: I made all those disgusting bugs explode using my powers, but one of the slugs which was bigger than the others (I think it was their queen) spit me acid on the face, causing me to have a big scar in my left eye.  
Filled with anger I used my electric powers to fry that bitch, and it exploded, covering the entire dungeon with her stinky blood. It was something way too disgusting to watch.  
"Okay, we defeated all the slugs. What we are we supposed to do now?" I asked and Clawdorf told me that we had to found a magic crystal inside the dungeon, which could transform me into a human being.

MY TRANSFORMATION  
We explored the dungeon for several hours, but we couldn´t find anything, instead of that we found more slug monsters which I killed with ease using my superpowers and my physical strength.  
Then, in one of the deepest parts from the dungeon we found big motherfucking slug monster which was even bigger than the slug queen and it had ten monstrous heads and eight bat wings which also had missile launchers and also a poisonous tail covered with acid fluids.  
That bastard almost killed me in a very long battle which almost cost me my life except when I use the abilities of my opponent to defeat him, confusing the monster with some fast movements which caused it to be destroyed with its own missiles.  
When the monster exploded, his acid blood was sprayed everywhere, and I saw something shinning inside of its innards, and I realized it was the magic crystal we were looking for.  
I touched it and I was suddenly transformed into a human being.

THE AFTERMATH  
After all the embarrassing and disgusting implications involving my transformation into a human being were explained to me by Clawdorf, the old wizard told me that now I will have to use clothes, something which pissed me off, because I never needed that kind of stuff before.  
Clawdorf told me that not using any clothes as a human would cause me trouble in the future with other people, and reminded me that now that I was his apprentice I will have to use a wizard cloak, which looked gay and stupid, but I was forced to use it in order to learn magic.  
I promised myself that one day I will use no more clothes than the skin of my enemies and that I will always drink their blood on Clawdorf´s skull, for forcing me to wear that ridiculous outfit.

TRAINING  
The first part of the training consisted in studying some boring books and listening some utterly pointless stories about self-control, being generous and compassionate and not using the violence except when it was strictly necessary and some shit like that.  
I hated that part of the training, because it required me to think about some shitty stuff I never cared about like the meaning of existence and the purpose of my life, but once that boring mental training was over, I had the chance to fight against other wizards in order to develop my new magic abilities.  
Most of the wizards were easy to defeat since most of them were a bunch of tree-hugger and peace-loving dipshits, and I humiliated them in the tournament we did in order to test our magical abilities, but there were also a couple of very powerful magicians that were difficult for me to defeat.  
The only thing which I didn´t like about that part of my magical training was that I wasn´t allowed to kill my opponents, so I had to let all those losers live with the pain of their humiliating defeats.

DEFEATING THE MOST POWERFUL MAGICIANS  
Some of my most powerful opponents were able to summon super powered beasts from other dimensions to fight for them, and others were super powered beast themselves, but I was able to defeat each one of them after the long and horribly traumatic special training I received from Clawdorf, who made to fight every day against entire armies of mutant slugs and other abominations that lived on his planet, which almost killed me several times, but I was always able to destroy all those bastards.  
That training allowed me to become more and more powerful, so it made easy for me to defeat most of my opponents, despite of their great abilities and strength, but there was still one opponent to defeat: His name was Kekanu and he looked like a giant demon and he also improved his evil magical abilities killing mutant slugs and other beasts from that crappy planet.  
His mentor was an old wizard with three eyes called Naeem, which was also Clawdorf´s biggest rival, because they once loved the same women who died during the war days on that planet or some shit like that. Anyway, I didn´t care at all about that romance bullshit, but I wanted to defeat Kekanu because he dared to tell me in my face that he was a vastly superior wizard, and I wanted to smash his smug, arrogant face in the ground and eat his innards.  
Our battle was programmed for the following week, so during that time I trained with more intensity than ever.

THE FIGHT AGAINST KEKANU  
One fucking week later:  
I finally had the chance to fight against Kekanu, but before our final match, the wizard city received a special guest from another dimension called Eian, who was supposed to be the judge of our battle in order to determine who deserved more the title of the best magician.  
In order to entertain Eian, the wizard organized a loser tournament where all the opponents who were defeated by me or Kekanu had the chance to show their abilities, but Eian wasn´t impressed by this.  
"I'm not impressed; I've seen better battles with Beatles in a bottle." He said.  
The winner of that loser tournament was Griffith, one of my previous opponents and the one which I considered to be the less annoying of the bunch, because he was a badass motherfucker and a worthy opponent who didn´t need to summon any magic beast to fight against because he was already a monstrous beast with lots of special superpowers. Even when he was a tree-hugger and a pony-lover, I was kinda glad he was the winner of that lousy tournament.  
After that, my fight against Kekanu started, and our powers unleashed were strong enough to cause an electrical storm. That captured the attention span of Eian:  
"Now that´s impressive" he said, while drinking a beer.  
Kekanu used his magic to transform himself into a dragon with three heads and laser beams on his shoulders, and then he started firing at me, boy he made the worst mistake by striking head-on, since I was able to use my super speed to confuse him at least for a while, and then I was able to cut two of the three heads of the dragon with my bare hands.  
However, Kekanu seemed to be unaffected by that, as he simply made his severed heads to transforms into hideous mutant monsters which tried to kill me to eat my innards, but I made those ugly motherfucker to explode using my magic. Then I ripped the wings and the laser beams from Kekanu´s dragon body with my teeth, spraying his blood everywhere.  
He screamed in pain, and the taste of his blood made me feel great, so I started taunting him:  
"Is that all what you have, bastard?" I asked him, before spitting Kekanu´s blood on the ground.

KEKANU REVEALS HIS FUCKING UGLY TRUE FORM  
"I will not be defeated so easily." Kekanu said, glaring at me, and then he transformed into a hideous beast with a more humanoid appearance, which was also much more powerful and dangerous, as he was able to almost killing me with one super destructive energy blast which burned one of my legs.  
I told him: "Bastard!" and he just laughed, and that pissed me off, so I used my magic energy to generate a magic sword which I immediately used to cut the left hand of that motherfucker.  
"Ouhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, my hand." He said, and then I use my sword to cut his ugly head.  
Everyone was shocked by that, and all of them remained silent for a while, thinking that I killed my opponent; something like that would have disqualified me from the wizard tournament. However, before I was disqualified, Kekanu´s severed head started laughing, and then he said that he wasn´t dead yet.  
"I told you that I will not be defeated so easily…" He remarked, just before his headless body started attacking me with all its strength, and then I asked:  
"What the fuck are you, motherfucker?"  
Kekanu laughed, and then his severed head transformed into a monster, while his headless body transformed into a demon-like creature which I instantly recognized as one of the demonic Pokémon from Solomon Phoenix, one of my old opponents. (See the previous chapter "THE BATTLE AGAINST DEMON POKEMON")  
"As I promised in the past, here we are to take revenge of you for the death of our Pokémon trainer, Solomon Phoenix."

KEKANU´S REVENGE AGAINST ME  
"Fuck" I said with annoyance. "I can´t believe that any of you, fuckers were able to find me in another dimension."  
"We followed you through the inter-dimensional portal which was created during our last battle. However, my partners were lost in other planet and dimension, and I was the only one to arrive to this place, where I met the old wizard Naeem, who used his magic to predict your arrival at this world. I became his apprentice in order to be powerful enough to defeat you and I waited patiently to have the chance to humiliate you in front of everyone, in order to avenge my Pokémon trainer!"  
"Pfft!" I answered him with disdain. "I can´t believe that you are still upset about that after all this time. Move on, dude."  
For some reason, my words angered that motherfucker, and that bastard used his demonic magic to paralyze me, and then he started to break all the bones from my body, one by one.  
Everyone was horrified to see that, but they were too afraid to act.  
"Eian, you must do something" Clawdorf said, but that idiot wasn´t able to do anything more than crying and calling his mommy in a very loud voice, so I had to solve my problems by myself, as always.

KEKANU IS FINALLY DEFEATED  
"Fucker, you think that you are the only one who was improving his abilities all this time?" I said, with a loud voice, as I used all my inner magic energy to release myself from Kekanu´s control. Then I used my special powers to transform myself into a super-wolf-like beast, while Kekanu and his partner transformed into a big motherfucking dragon.  
"Give up, Max Wolf!" those dipshits said. "We are going to kill you, eat your innards and then rape your corpse. And then we will kill all the wizards and Eian to honor the memory of our trainer…"  
The other wizards had a "what the fuck, dude" expression on their faces, while Eian started to cry louder than before, pissing his pants in fear.  
"Fuck you, Kekanu," I said, before making my last attack, which consisted in one intense energy blast which burned Kekanu and his partner, but before they were both reduced to dust, they made their last attack too, which consisted in a rain of dark magic beams which was powerful enough to destroy the entire wizard planet, but I somehow managed to absorb all that dark energy, becoming more powerful than ever and saving everyone the process.  
The last words from Kekanu were: "Fuck you, Max Wolf. I am sure my partners will avenge our master Solomon Phoenix"  
Then he and his partner died, turning into dust.

HOW I BECOME THE MOST POWERFUL WIZARD  
After I won the battle against Kekanu, the other wizards (except for Naeem, who was upset for the death and defeat of his pupil) were ready to celebrate my triumph as the greatest magician of that crappy planet, but then Eian said that technically I shouldn´t be considered the winner of the battle because I killed my opponent and that was against the rules, and everyone glared at him.  
"Shut the fuck up, Eian" Clawdorf said, and everyone agreed with him. That was the moment when Eian felt like the biggest idiot of the Universe and started crying again. It was something fun to watch.  
"It´s ok…" I said. "I wasn´t that much interested in becoming the greatest wizard, I only wanted to defeat Kekanu. "I don´t want to become the leader of this crappy planet anyway. "  
"But you must rule us; otherwise our planet will be fucked up forever!"  
"Yeah, but I don´t care…" I said. "I only started this stupid wizard training because I wanted to be powerful enough to kill Clawdorf. And that reminds me something…"  
I was ready to behead Clawdorf, but then one bright light surrounded me, and then my mind was transported to some kind of magical dimension, where I meet a big talking tiger who told me the following:  
"Congratulations, Max Wolf. You won the wizard battle. As the god of magic, I now concede you the title of the greatest wizard. Now you can start ruling my people with generosity and benevolence…"  
"But I don´t want to do that," I answered him. "Ruling planets is boring and requires responsibility. I also have to find my missing father, who is lost somewhere in the Universe…"  
The giant tiger remained silent for a moment and then it made me the following offer:  
"Okay, what about this: I will help you to find your father if you accept to rule the wizard people for the rest of your life…"  
I had to think the offering for a couple of minutes. Then I said:  
"Okay, but with one condition: I will find my father FIRST, and then I will start ruling this lame planet. Agreed?"  
"Agreed." the god of magic said. "I will allow you to search for your missing father, but once you find him, you will have to return to the wizard planet to rule it for the rest of your life. Do you understand?"  
"Yes, I understand. But before that, I will be free to do whatever I want?"  
"Well, technically you could. At least it is none of my business, as long you help the wizard people first…"  
"What do you mean with that?" I asked him, and then the giant tiger used his divine magic one me, and my mind instantly returned to the stupid wizard planet, where everyone seemed confused about what was happening.

HOW I RESTORED A CRAPSACK WORLD AND I DIDN´T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT  
"What the fuck happened?" Clawdorf asked me, and I answered him that I was with the god of magic which looked like a big talking tiger.  
"The God of magic is a tiger?" Griffith asked, and I nodded.  
"He also allowed me to do anything I want before I find my father." I explained the stupid wizards. "That means that only after I found my father I will become the ruler of the crappy planet."  
"The god of magic really told you that?" Eian asked, and everyone ordered him to shut the fuck up.  
"Oh yeah, he also mentioned something about helping the wizards, but I am not sure what he meant with that…" I said, just before one magical bright light started to surround me, and then the light expanded for the whole crappy wizard planet, restoring it completely.  
There weren´t any mutant slugs or any other kind of monster anymore, and the environment was restored and some shit like that. All the wizards were happy about this, but that last event made feel angry because I then heard a voice inside my mind who told me the following words:  
"Max, the way in which your magical powers unconsciously regenerated the wizard planet is a sign of our pact. Your quest to find your father starts now, but once you find him, you will instantly return here to rule my people for the rest of your life. Peace."  
The voice was from the god of magic, and I realized that he was able to see anything I did, so I had to start the quest to find my father sooner I expected, and that made feel very angry and upset, and I had to vent my rage on some ponies. And also on Clawdorf, but even when I beheaded him, he was still alive, and in a few seconds, he was back to normal once again, much to my annoyance.  
"I think that my inner magic is more powerful I thought" he said, and that pissed me off, so I had to kill more ponies in order to vent my increasing rage.  
"Fuck this gay universe" I said myself while I was eating the innards of those ponies. And that´s how my new quest started.


	2. Part 2

**PART 2**

THE BORING STUFF I HAD TO DO BEFORE THE START OF MY NEW QUEST

The wizard planet was restored, but I didn´t care about that. The voice of the god of magic inside my head ordered me to wait at least one week before starting my new quest in order to check that everything was in order before leaving.

During my absence, I had to delegate a temporary successor to reign in my place while I was trying to find my lost father, so I chose Griffith, because he was the less annoying magician of the bunch.

Eian wanted to be my temporary successor, but I told him to piss off.

A NEW JOURNEY STARTS

Another fucking week later:

Once I checked everything was ok in that shitty wizard world, I was ready to start my new quest to find my father.

The god of magic gave me the power to travel across the dimension, but I had to be careful about this new power I had, because if I used it too much, then all the dimensions existing in the multiverse will collapse, and that will be the end of all things. (Not that I care that much about such kind of frivolous things)

Anyway, I promised the talking tiger that I was going to be careful, but for some reason he didn´t believe me, and told me that I was allowed to use that new power only 114 times, in order to don´t put in danger the existence of the entire universe. Fucking untrusting cat.

In order to help me with my quest, Griffith provided me with some sort of spaceship which has a couple of robot assistants inside of it: Their names were Xavier and Amanda.

"Hello, human master" they told me once I was inside the ship, but I had to remind them that I wasn´t a human being, but a Pokémon instead, which was transformed by genetic manipulation and magic (Reminding me how I had to be transformed into a human being in order to become Clawdorf´s apprentice pissed me off a lot, so I cut his head again, but he didn´t die anyway and five minutes later, that old fart was just fine.)

TRAVELLING ACROSS THE DIMENSIONS

Using my new powers, I was able to move the spaceship across the dimensions. However, once we moved to another dimension, we were attacked by some fucking space monsters with eleven wings and seven tails which tried to kill us, but I was able to blast those dipshits using only a very little part of my true power.

I laughed a lot while I killed those bastards, and then I ripped their hearts with my bare hands and I ate the organs of those monsters in front of their eyes. It was something so shocking to watch, that Xavier and Amanda had to repress the memory of the entire event in order to don´t be traumatized about that.

MY NEW COLLECTION OF TROPHIES

Other monsters tried to attack us while we were travelling across the dimensions, but I defeat all those motherfuckers with ease, and I always ripped their hearts and ate their organs in the most violent and bloody way imaginable. Most of those motherfuckers didn´t have bones and were literally spineless, but some of them had skulls and mechanical skeletons, which I removed from their bodies after every battle.

I started collecting the bones, fangs and organs from my enemies as a hobby, and during that boring time when we had to travel across dimensions trying to find the world where I came from, my only fun was to destroy all my opponents without any kind of mercy.

LOST IN THE FUCKING SPACE

We were lost in the fucking space for some time while we were looking for a way back towards the Pokémon world, during that time I was able to defeat at least 1500 enemies which I pulverized, keeping their some of their skins, fangs, skulls and bones for fun. I even made suit and a mask from the skin of my enemies in order to cheer myself up, because our journey seemed to be going nowhere, and I was constantly reminded by the god of magic about the promise I made. That fucking cat was obsessed.

We met many aliens during our travel across the Universe and not all of them were our enemies. I befriended some cool robot aliens which fought against the bad guys from the galaxy and I even helped them to overthrown an evil empire. The youngest of the robots become my friend and he taught me a good insult and I still use it.

REST

While I had some fun slaughtering all those evil aliens who tried to attack us, Xavier and Amanda were way too stressed after seeing the ultraviolent way in which I eliminated all our enemies, so they begged me to concede them a brief vacation time in some boring peaceful planet.

I only accepted to concede their petition because Xavier and Amanda were much less annoying than all the other dipshits that I met before, so I told them: "Okay, let´s go to that shitty peaceful planet…" They were very happy about that.

The peaceful planet was very boring and stupid and was filled with dumb stuff like ponies and Technicolor bears that were singing all the time, so I told Xavier and Amanda that I will be waiting for them inside our ship, and they were ok with that.

While those two robots were taking tea and playing with the stupid ponies and the Technicolor bears I started sleeping inside our spaceship: At first my dreams were fun and cool, involving the murder and torture of all my enemies, but then something changed and turned stupid and lame, and I found myself to be transformed in some stupid Technicolor bear with a fedora, and I asked myself:

"What the fuck is happening?" and then I heard an evil laugh coming from the distance.

"Who are you?" I demanded to know, and the voice kept laughing evilly, pissing me off.

"Who the fuck are you?" I demanded to know once again, and the voice finally answered me:

"Don´t you recognize me?"

"No, I don´t!" I said.

Then my enemy finally showed himself: It was…One of the motherfucking evil Pokémon from the wizard Solomon Phoenix, an old enemy of mine!

"Oh great…" I sighed. "Another dipshit loser like Kekanu…"

"Fucker, you will pay for what you did to my master and my partner Kekanu …" That evil Pokémon said. "I´m a psychic Pokémon, so I can read your mind, and I know the way you think, what you like and what you hate…So I decided to murder you in the most humiliating way you could imagine, after making you to live your worst nightmare!"

TRAPPED IN A STUPID DREAM

"Oh yeah?" I said, daringly. "Let´s see who is the one who is going to be humiliated!"

Then I tried to cut the head of mu opponent using my magic, but then, I realized my powers didn´t have any kind of effect in that dream reality.

"Stupid fucker…" The evil psychic Pokémon said. "Here, in the realm of the mind, you don´t have any kind of power! I made you adorable!"

"Shit," I told myself and then the evil Pokémon used his powers to create some gigantic pony monsters that he used to hunt so I had to run like a little bitch into a candy forest.

THE CANDY FOREST OF DEATH

"Okay" I told myself, while I was in the candy forest. "My situation is not so bad. After all, this is just a dream, so I can wake up from it anytime…"

"Is that what you think?" a little pink worm from the candy forest asked me in a taunting manner, before turning into a mega ultra-chicken with demon horns. "Well, think again, little shit!"

The mega ultra-chicken used his demoniac fire against me, and I had to run again in a pathetic manner.

More cuddly and cute monsters emerged from the candy forest and all of them tried to kill me in the most extravagant and fucking stupid ways anybody could imagine. I wanted to use my powers to blast all those bastards, but in that horrible dream world I was entirely powerless: It was truly my worst fucking nightmare.

PAYBACK IS A BITCH

The situation seemed worse than ever, and I said myself that at least things couldn´t get any worse, but boy, I was wrong-The evil psychic Pokémon find me and captured me easily, putting me inside a stupid pink cage with a heart symbol, and then I was forced to do the most humiliating I´ve ever done: I had to be part of some shitty Pokémon musical wearing a ridiculous outfit that not even the most obtuse celebrity would dare to use voluntarily.

And to make the whole thing even more degrading for me, that evil Psychic Pokémon dipshit used some kind of voodoo or some shit like that to summon the souls of many of my old enemies who mocked me and videotaped the whole event in order to upload it to youtube.

I told myself: "Fuck this shit, I´m out of here," But even when I tried to leave that hellish place, I was forced to stay there in order to live the biggest humiliation of my entire existence in front all the dipshit I once defeated.

RECOVERING MY POWERS

Everything seemed lost for me by that point, but then I saw Clawdorf accompanied by some pink ponies and the stupid Technicolor bears, who told me that they were proud of me for finally embracing a nonviolent lifestyle and commented about how happy they were now that I became a good role model for children everywhere.

That pissed me off a lot, and then I remembered the reason why I became a magician in first place: To Kill Clawdorf, because he was a motherfuckin´ annoying cunt that deserved to die, and I couldn´t die before murdering that old bastard, so I suddenly recovered my powers, and then I started to murder everyone in the dream world created by the evil Psychic Pokémon from Solomon Phoenix, starting for my old enemies.

I had lots of fun murdering all of them with ease once again, and it made me very happy to eat their guts while they were screaming me for mercy, just before I smashed their stupid ugly faces.

I was also to defeat that ugly evil psychic Pokémon from Solomon Phoenix, but instead of just killing him, I prepared a special punishment for him, to make him pay for my humiliation.

MY REVENGE AGAINST THAT DIPSHIT PSYCHIC POKÉMON

Despite all his stupid psychic powers, the evil psychic Pokémon from Solomon Phoenix was no match for me after I recovered all my powers, and I couldn´t be fooled by his stupid illusions and mind tricks.

First, I broke all the bones of that ugly loser, and after I immobilized him I started to rip all his vital organs one by one, except for the heart and the brain, because I wanted him to feel all the world of pain I prepared for him.

He tried to convince himself that everything I was doing him was just a dream and that he was going to wake up soon, but I told him: "Oh yeah? Well, kept dreaming motherfucker!" before I squashed his brain with my foot.

Then I woke up, feeling very happy with myself. One hour later, Xavier and Amanda returned with candies and balloons, and told me a lot of boring stuff about how what they learned about care and friendship, and I just pretended to listen them, but I wasn´t really doing that.

I was happy to leave that boring peaceful planet, and I was hoping to never have to return to it, because it was way too stupid.

A BIG MOTHERFUCKING SPACE SNAKE ATTACKS US

We were attacked by one big motherfucking space snake that tried to eat our spaceship, but I killed it cutting it in a half in one sword I created from my energy. After I killed that dipshit, I said: "In your face, motherfucker!" but then Xavier and Amanda told me that our spaceship was seriously damaged by the snake, and the safest thing to do was to land in the first planet we could find.

That´s how we ended landing in some stupid and insignificant planet earth, were we had to stay for a while.

ADVENTURES IN EARTH –PART ONE

Once our spaceship landed on earth, Xavier and Amanda used a special camouflage in order to don´t be noticed by the inhabitants of that lame planet. Xavier and Amanda used a clever human disguise to explore the planet, and gave me one special outfit to go with them, disguised as an ordinary fella.

With my magical powers, I was able to sense that most people from Earth were weak and unable to use magic, but I was also able to sense some strange energy flowing in the distance, and that made me thought that perhaps it could be a worthy opponent for me on that planet.

While Xavier and Amanda went to the city trying to find what they needed to repair our spaceship, I went to investigate the source of the mysterious energy.

ADVENTURES IN EARTH –PART TWO

My search brought me to some icy mountains where I met a couple of snow giants which tried to eat me, but I made all those cold bastards with a mere glimpse of my true power. I instantly knew that those monsters weren´t part of the wildlife from earth, but artificial beings created with magic. I was also able to knew that who created those monsters where hidden somewhere in the mountains, probably waiting for me.

So then I screamed with all the strength of my voice: "Who are you? Show yourself or I will kill you?"

Then an entire army of snow giants appeared in front of me and tried to smash me, but I made all that motherfucker melt using my super fire technique I learned while I was killing some evil aliens a few days ago.

After that, I went to some cave in the mountains in order to find my enemy, promising myself I will eat the guts of that motherfucker for making me to search him.

THE MOUNTAINS

Inside the mountains there were a labyrinth which was protected by a dragon with eight heads, eight wings, 16 horns, 4 tails and 7 legs: That monster started to spit fire and acid over me and that pissed me off, so I screamed:

"Fucker, I will kill you!" And then I used my magic to create a big motherfucker sword made of energy which I was ready to use to cut the head of that dragon, but the dragon spoke to me via telekinesis and said:

"Wait, please don´t kill me!"

I was surprised for that and then I stopped my attack and I screamed: "No fucking way! YOU CAN TALK!"

"Yes I can," the dragon said. "But that´s because I´m not actually a dragon. I actually am one intelligent alien who was kidnapped by an evil sorcerer who put a spell over me and transformed me into a dragon because he wanted me to be his pet and take care of his domains, but recently I was able to free myself from mind control!"

"Holy shit!" I said, before whistling, and then I asked: "Wait, if you were free from mind control, then why you tried to attack me when I entered here?"

"It was because I thought you were the evil wizard who kidnapped me and I thought I would have the chance to kill him in order to eat his guts for being a fucking despicable bastard!"

"I can easily relate!" I said and then I high fived the dragon, and then we joined forces in order to find the evil motherfucker who kidnapped him.

MY FRIEND THE DRAGON

The alien dragon thing was named Dave J. Thompson and I promised him that I will kill the motherfucker who kidnapped him and transformed him into a dragon and he said: "Ok, pal!"

We went flying from the mountains after we destroyed the domains of the evil sorcerer, and then I asked Dave where in the world the wizard was.

"I don´t know" he said. "In Chicago, I guess, because he is the corrupt leader of a very powerful gang of criminals and the newspaper said an evil gang recently appeared there!"

"Ok" I answered him. "Let´s go to Chicago, then."

While we were flying to Chicago, we discussed the best way in which we could kill our enemy, and Dave suggested me to wipe out first the entire gene pool of the evil wizard in order to make him to suffer more. I agreed with him, and we both laughed, thinking about our revenge.

TAKING REVENGE OF BOYDWALTERS

The name of the wizard was boydwalters: To my deception, he was pretty incompetent and stupid, and he only was able to fool Dave because he was a liar and a deceiver, but his excessive self-confidence was his perdition.

We went Chicago, were we met boydwalters friends and family and we killed them first just to scare him, but he didn t know who killed his friends and family, until we told him, after telling him that I tore out his throat and I feed Dave with his guts and his brain. Then we murdered all the boydwalters relatives that were left in order to don´t let any of them to take revenge for what we did.

Sadly, even after we killed boydwalters, my friend Dave wasn´t able to recover his original form, but he said: "That´s okay, pal. I think I´m starting to like being a dragon anyway."

MORE THINGS THAT HAPPENED

While we were on Chicago, some thugs tried to steal our money and food, but I was able to hunt them and when those bastards I skinned them alive and fed my dragon friend with their guts, then we used their blood and organs to redecorate their houses. Then I used my sword to carve the following message on the walls:

"Max Wolf and his pal Dave were here. Look out, criminals everywhere. If we find you, we will kill you in the same manner."

Then we started hunting all the thugs, murderers, rapists and pedophiles from the city and we tortured and killed all of them just for fun, skinning their alive and use their blood to write on the walls. This was even in the news but nobody was able to know that we were the ones who killed all those criminals.

XAVIER AND AMANDA ARE MISSING!

A few hours later, I remembered that I didn´t have any kind of news from Xavier and Amanda, so I called them using the same cellphone they gave me before they went to the city to buy some stuff we needed for our spaceship.

However, none of them answered my phone, and I was worried about them so I asked Dave to fly towards the place where we left our spaceship and he said: "Ok, pal".

We travelled across the skies faster than a shooting star and a few seconds later we found the spaceship, but it was empty.

"Where are Xavier and Amanda?" I asked, and Dave shrugged and then he said: "Dude, look!" as he pointed with his tail a little note left in one of the computers from the spaceship.

The note had the following message:

_Dear fucker:_

_We had your robot friends. If you want to see them again, then you will have to come to Spain in the following 6 hours. If you don´t do that, we will smash the robots and send their pieces to the terrorists._

_Sincerely yours,_

The Spanish mafia

"Holy Shit!" I said. Then I looked my watch: "We have four hours left! We have to go to Spain right now!"

"I will take you there!" Dave said, and we flew towards Spain in the next two hours.

"If something bad happens to Xavier and Amanda, then I will kill all those motherfuckers in the most painful way any man could conceive!"

"I´m with you dude!" Dave told me, and we high fived in the middle of the sky. Then we arrived to Spain.

TRYING TO FIND THE SPANISH MAFIA

We went to Spain to find someone who could help us to find Xavier and Amanda but weren´t welcomed, so I we started beating the living crap out some random people we found in the streets, asking them to give us clues about the Spanish mafia. We asked them to give us all the information that they knew, and we punched in the face all those who didn´t want to give us an appropriate answer, but we didn´t kill them.

Then some fat Spanish dude told us that about a secret hideout for the Spanish mafia, but it was a trap, and the place was filled with thugs and evildoers, but we killed all of them ripping their arms and legs, and then we smashed their heads with our feet and fists.

Then we find the coward Spanish dude who gave us the fake information and we skinned him alive, and then we set his house on fire with him inside of it.

"There is only hour left" I said. "We have no time to lose"

Dave nodded, and then he smoked a cigarette, which he later used to set on fire the houses of many pedophiles and rapists.

THE BATTLE AGAINST THE SPANISH MAFIA

Our actions were immediately noticed by the Spanish mafia, which sent many professional killers to eliminate us, but all those fuckers failed at their mission, ending most of them decapitated or skinned alive.

I only left one of those bastards alive because he was the one who told me the location of the main hideout of the Spanish mafia: Dave and I went there and murdered all the thugs and scumbags who tried to eliminate us, and the blood of those criminals was sprayed everywhere and I was entirely covered by the blood and guts of my defeated enemies, but that was okay because I actually looked cooler in that way. Dave also helped, and I fed him with the organs of some of the thugs as a reward.

I demanded to know where the fuck were Xavier and Amanda, but then the leader of the Spanish mafia appeared and he started to laugh at me. I asked him: "What´s so funny, piece of shit?"

"I didn´t expect anything less from you, Max Wolf…" that strange man said. "But this is the end of the road for you, because you are going to die here and now."

I laughed at him. "Fucker, don´t you realize that I killed all your weak and stupid henchmen? Now you are alone, and you couldn´t do anything to fight me!"

The leader of the Spanish mafia started laughing once again and then he told me I was an idiot (Fucker, I hated him for that) so I ripped his face with my fangs, but to my surprise his human face was actually a mask, and then he removed his human disguise, revealing to me that he was actually one of the evil demon Pokémon from Solomon Phoenix.

JOJO DYNAMO

"Holy shit, you are Pokémon?" I asked.

"Yes, dipshit", he answered me. "My name is Jojo Dynamo and I´m a dark type Pokémon. I will take revenge for the death of my master Solomon Phoenix and my two partners Kekanu and Ki Kikyo!"

"Who the fuck is Ki Kikyo?" I asked, and then Jojo Dynamo got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face.

"The Psychic Pokémon you killed, twat," he said with an angry voice and then I said, "Oh yeah, now I remember that. It was fun to kill him…"

"Now you will pay for that fucking piece of shit!" He screamed and then he turned in one big motherfucker monster that was bigger than an entire building.

"Shit" I said. "Now what are you going to do, bitch!"

"THIS," that ugly motherfucker said and then he tried to blast me with one terribly powerful blast of energy which sent several miles underground. That attack could have killed anyone else, but not me.

"You will pay for this, bitch" I said, while I was getting ready to do my counterattack

HOW I BECAME SUPER MEGA MAX WOLF

It took my exactly five seconds to return to surface: During that time, Jojo Dynamo used his dark powers to cause a terrible destruction in the city, murdering at least 60000 people and he also ripped two of the eight wings from Dave, making him scream in pain. That really pissed me off, and my anger increased my power a lot, and that allowed me to get my first evolution: Super Mega Max Wolf.

"Now you will pay for what you did, fucking motherfucker!" I said, just before I sent JoJo Dynamo directly to the moon, with one of my punches.

From the moon, Jojo Dynamo sent a blast of his evil energy towards the earth, but I was able to stop it with ease, and then in the moon I started to beat the living crap out of him.

MY SUPER MEGA FIGHT AGAINST JOJO DYNAMO

In the moon, I gave Jojo Dynamo a good beating that reduced that dipshit into a disgusting pulp, but that bastard managed to regenerate his body from all my attacks, turning bigger and uglier. And also more annoying, because he just couldn´t shut the fuck up:

"Give up, Max Wolf," Jojo Dynamo said, assuming a disgusting new form. "You can´t defeat me. I´m getting more and more power from the hatred of the souls of all those you killed in all your previous battles. They all want you to join them in hell…"

I told that dipshit to shut the fuck up, but the damn bastard just keep talking, pissing me off a lot:

"You´ll see, Max Wolf…I was the one who released your dear friend the dragon from its mind control because I knew that the first thing a stupid cunt like you would do was to start a roaring rampage of revenge, and now that you killed a lot of people here on earth I get a lot of extra power from their hatred…"

"Would you ever shut the fuck up?" I asked him with an angry face, and then I attacked him, but my attack wasn´t enough to kill that motherfucker, who just kept talking about a lot of shit I didn´t care to listen.

"You know what? Fuck you and your stupid hate powers. I just don´t want to listen you anymore. "I said, and then I reunited all my energies in one hand in order to create one super attack which made Jojo Dynamo to implode.

All that was left of him was a disgusting dark mass which I devoured in order to don´t allow him to regenerate, and even when it tasted horribly, it gave me many new superpowers which I used to return to Earth where Dave was waiting for me, with his damaged wings.

"Are you ok dude?" He asked me, and I nodded. But then I remembered that I forgot to ask Jojo Dynamo about Xavier and Amanda, who still were missing, and I didn´t knew what happened with them.

"Shit!" I said myself. I wonder where my robot friends are. Then Dave and I tried to find them in the ruins of the Spanish mafia hideout, but we were only able to find thug corpses there. Xavier and Amanda still were missing, and I felt very pissed about that.

Dave suggested me to return to the spaceship, in order to have some rest after that incredibly violent (but awesome) battle and I agreed with his idea. We also brought some of the thug corpses with us to the spaceship, in order to eat their innards and brains for breakfast and dinner.

"Do you think that we will be able to find Xavier and Amanda?" I asked my dragon partner, and he just told me: "I don´t know, dude…"

**_To be continued in part 3…_**


	3. Part 3

**PART 3**

THE EXTERMINATION OF WHAT WAS LEFT OF THE SPANISH MAFIA

Once we recovered our energies from last battle, Dave and I started our search to find Xavier and Amanda, so went to Mexico because the Spanish mafia had another hideout there.

In Mexico, we tortured and killed all the members from the Spanish mafia that were still alive, eating their innards and brains in front of them, but they didn´t knew where our robots friends were, so we had to kill them smashing their heads against the wall. Then we used their blood to put our signature in the place, leaving the following message:

"Max Wolf and Dave J. Thompson were here. Look out, criminals!"

Then we use our powers to blown the entire place and then we left.

VENTING OUR RAGE ON PEDOPHILES, RAPISTS AND MURDERERS

We still weren´t able to find Xavier and Amanda, and that pissed me off a lot, so I had to vent my rage on all the murderers, rapist and pedophiles we could find in the streets, and in that way, we murdered at least 5000 of that fuckers: I skinned all of them alive before smashing their heads with my fists, spreading their blood everywhere. But all those killings weren´t enough for me, so I decided to start a hunt for all the pedophiles from the internet: We found a webpage owned by somebody called Donckers17, who was a disgusting pervert which upload inappropriate and barely legal pictures to the internet, so we hunted him, and once we captured that disgusting bastard we skinned him alive, then we stabbed his ridiculously small genitalia with a rusted knife and then we smashed his head repeatedly with a hammer.

We uploaded the video of his death to the internet, in order to send a warning to all the pedophiles and rapists from the internet, promising them that we were going to kill all of them very son. Those perverts were afraid of us, and they were right to do that because once we find them, we murdered them in the most violent way anyone could conceive and we set their houses on fire.

FINDING HARRY GRIMOIRE

Even when it was fun to kill all those pedophiles and rapists, Xavier and Amanda still were missing and that made feel very angry, so I started hunting down all the drug dealers and thugs I could find, chaining them to wall were I could easily torture them and eat their innards, keeping their skulls as souvenirs.

One day I was smashing the skull of one of those scumbags when Dave appeared and said: "Max, I think I found something!"

"You find Xavier and Amanda?" I asked him enthusiastically, but then he said: "No, I didn´t find them."

That annoyed me, so I told him: "FUCK THEN WHY YOU SAID YOU FIND SOMETHING!" and he said: "Dude, what In meant is that I found someone who could help us, his name is Harry Grimoire: He is a very powerful magician who lives in Boston, we have to go there!"

I said: "Ok, then". And in that way we went to Boston to find Harry Grimoire.

HARRY GRIMOIRE

We went to Boston to find the wizard Harry Grimoire: He was in a tavern, drinking beer combined with tequila and Devil Springs vodka, and he was way too drunk to talk with us, so he ordered us to wait him outside the tavern until he was done with drinking.

I told him: "Fucker, we have no time for this" but he used his magic to transform me in a blue bear with a fedora. I wanted to kill Harry for doing that.

"Wait until I´m done with this" Harry ordered us, and we had to wait for him all the night until the bartender ordered him to go home because he was too drunk.

"Now you are going to help us?" Dave asked him, and Harry said:

"Not now, I think I´m going to vomit," and then he vomited in the street.

After he vomited, we asked him again if he was going to help us, and he answered: "Not now, I´m think I´m going to have diarrhea." And then he went to the bathroom for the next two hours.

While we were waiting him, an idiot came close to me and said: "Look at that! A bear with a fedora! How cute! I think that I´m going to take a picture of myself with this adorable bear." Boy, he shouldn´t have called me adorable because after he did that I ripped his left arm from his body and then he started to scream in pain.

I told him: "Fucker that will teach you to don´t call me adorable again."

HARRY GRIMOIRE HANGOVER

Harry was way too drunk to drive back to his home, so we had to take him there. He lived in a dirty and ridiculously small shack filled with porn magazines and old newspapers.

"Fucker, how could you live here?" I asked him, and he told to don´t judge him, and the he tried to punch me in the face, but was too drunk to do something and vomited again in the floor, where he fell unconscious.

"This dipshit can´t help us…" I said, but Dave told me I was wrong, because Harry Grimoire was a very powerful magician who once helped him in the past, and then he told me the story Harry Grimoire saved his planet of some bastard alien called Terramon, who wanted to conquer the entire Universe, but then Harry Grimoire used his magic to made that fucker explode and Harry received a blue medal and a golden Keanu Reeves statue as a reward.

"That´s bullshit," I told him "If Harry Grimoire used to be so awesome why now he is such a pathetic dipshit who couldn´t stop vomiting on the floor, huh?"

"I don´t know…" Dave told me. "Maybe something bad happened to him…"

I asked Dave what we could do while Harry was unconscious and Dave suggested me to read the porn magazines and old newspapers from Harry Grimoire´s apartment.

"No," I told him. "Reading is for nerds and wussies." I told him.

"Okay then." Said Dave, and then he started reading the porn magazines owned by Harry Grimoire, and I had nothing better to do that pointing the unconscious body of Harry Grimoire with a stick.

"Fucker, wake up soon…" I told him.

HARRY GRIMOIRE WAKES UP

Two fucking days later…

Two fucking day later, Harry Grimoire finally woke up feeling a terrible headache and cursing the entire world. He didn´t knew that during the time we were waiting for him to wake up, many bounty hunters came to his house trying to kill him, but we killed all of them, slicing their throats with a rusted knife. A few seconds before they died, we ate all the organs from their bodies, keeping their bones and skins as souvenirs.

Also an insect space army tried to conquer earth but I used my powers to get my super evolution and then I got a machine gun in one of my arms which used to kill all those ugly motherfuckers, and once they were all dead, I fried them with my laser vision.

But Harry didn´t knew anything of that, because he was having a hangover and when he woke up, he probably thought that we stayed with him in his dirty shack for the last two days. Stupid fucker.

HARRY GRIMOIRE TAKES HIS BREAKFAST

Once Harry felt better, he ate his breakfast. While he was eating his breakfast he told us his extremely boring backstory which I barely care to listen, because I don´t care at all about feelings or stupid shit like that:

Harry told us that many years ago he found a lost cat outside his house and he took care of it, but that cat was a sexy female Darkstalker called Felicia who asked him for help to fight against evil and they were then involved in many epic and stupid adventures where they fought Lord Pyron and the Evil Darkstalkers like Morrigan, Dimitri, Anakaris, Bishamon and Lord Raptor and they were friends of good Darkstalkers like Rikuo, Jon Talbain, Klaus, Uncle Bigfoot and Hairball. They had a lot of fun times, but Harry always wanted to fuck Felicia, but she always said no because Harry was too young, and she told him that he had to wait until he had the age of consent, but once Harry was adult Felicia abandoned him for Jon Talbain.

"Can you believe that cat bitch abandoned me for that furfag? That depressed me a lot. Those cocksuckers even invited me to their wedding and of course I didn´t go, because I had better things to do, like for example, fucking Morrigan in the ass, because at least that bitch wasn´t a wanted to have sex with me, even when I was a boy, so we finally we did, and she enjoyed it, Of course, after we did it, she then tried to kill me, but I was prepared and I used my magic to cut the fucking bitch head off. She survived somehow and she still has nice tits, so we still have casual sex sometimes which we enjoy, even when both of us know that after the fucking, we will try to kill each other once again."

"Okay, but I don´t care about your sexual life," I told him. "Would you help us now to find our friends Xavier and Amanda?"

"Yeah, I can do that. For a prize." He answered me.

END OF CHAPTER.

ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKING EVIL POKEMON

We found another evil demon Pokémon from Solomon Phoenix waiting for us outside Harry Grimoire´s shack: His name was Barotao and he was a fighting-type Pokémon. Along with him there was a disgusting crack addict called Marc Sigoloff: He was very fatl, had several pimples on his face, His hair smelled like a farty old cunt. He was the one who told Barotao about us: I knew it thanks to my telekinetic powers, which allowed me to read his disgusting dirty mind.

"Fucker, you killed boydwalters!" Marc Sigoloff told us with an angry expression on his face. He was my crack provider, now he is dead and I don´t have crack anymore!"

"Oh, shut the fuck up, you fat crack whore" I answered him, while punching him in the face, killing the fat bastard instantly.

"You killed my Pokémon master!"Barotao screamed like an angry bitch, and I replied him the following:

"Yes yes, I killed your Pokémon master. What is it with you, evil Pokémon anyway? I would have been killed my own Pokémon master if I had one, but you don't hear me bitching about that…"

For some reason, my answer angered him a lot, and then he transformed into some Hulk-like abomination who tried to smash me, while screaming: "Don't mock me! I can kill you easily!"

I then assumed my super powered evolved form which had machine guns instead of hands, but my bullets and energy attacks didn´t have any effect in that bastard who immediately grabbed me by one leg and started to hit my body as it was a rag doll, breaking several of my bones.

BAROTAO´S HUGE BUTT AND GREY MUTANT PENIS

Barotao gave me a good beating and I hated him for doing that, but none of my attacks seemed to have any kind of effect in that big piece of shit. "Holy fuck" I said myself, "What the fuck is the deal with this dude?"

Once Barotao was about to kill me, my friend Dave joined the battle, spitting fire over my opponent, but he remained unharmed even when he lost his pants, something which unfortunately allowed me to see his huge butt and grey mutant penis. Such sight is part of the reason of why I´m insane, so I had to blind myself in order to fight my enemy.

Barotao punched Dave in the stomach, making him vomit several big eggs from inside his body. The eggs hatched instantly, and many reptilian humanoids monsters came from each one of them.

"I didn´t know I was able to do that," Dave said, and then he started named each one of those abominations, who immediately joined the battle and started hitting Barotao, but that bastard killed most of them.

"NOOO MY CHILDREN, YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!" Screamed Dave, as he jumped over our enemy, trying to smash him, but that ugly bastard son of a b**** punched him on each one his heads, ripping two of them and that made me scream in anger:

"NOOO MY FRIEND, YOU WILL PAY FOR RIPPING HIS HEADS, BECAUSE I LOVED THEM?"

My rage allowed me to get a new evolution mode which turned me into a super cool robotic dude with a silver body and many new powers which I instantly used against Barotao, reducing to dust most part of the city where we were fighting, including Harry Grimoire´s shack, something which pissed him a lot.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY PORN MAGAZINES, YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!" screamed Harry assuming his Magic Super saiyan mode, which he used against me.

"Hey, fucking disphsit, why you are doing this, I´m your friend!"

"No, you are not!" fucking Harry Grimoire answered me, and after that he used his dark magic to transform me into a blue bear with a fedora once again.

"Not this shit again" I told myself.

I then started to argue with Harry, but then we both realized that Barotao was not quite dead yet, as he appeared transformed into a very ugly mass of energy with the size of the mountain and we had to join forces in order to fight against him. It was his super powered chaos form.

"You will pay for what you did to my shack and my porn magazines later" Harry Grimoire told me before jumping to battle with me and I told him: "Whatever, dude."

FIGHTING BAROTAO´S CHAOS FORM

Harry and I made a super-powered combined attack which we used against Barotao, but his chaos form was able to absorb energies with easy and then the bastard used our own energies against us, almost causing our death.

I said: "Oh shit, we´re fucked" and Harry told me "You don´t say, stupid motherfucker!" then, he flipped the bird to me while saying: "I want you to know that I blame you for our imminent death." And I said him: "Fuck you."

Barotao was ready to squash us to death, but before doing that he said in taunting tone: "Hah, hah, who is laughing now, bitch?"

My only answer was: "Whatever, ugly son of a b**** and that pissed him a lot.

"How dare you?" he said, and then he saw the agonizing body of my friend Dave, who was lying on the ground bleeding profusely due the loss of two of his heads.

"I had a better idea," Barotao said, with his angry voice "I´m going to kill your dragon friend, so you will know what I felt when you killed my Pokémon master!"

"Fuck, don´t talk me about your feelings, because that´s fucking gay!" I told him, but he was ready to kill my dragon pal Dave, and I was seriously hurt, and I didn´t knew what to do.

MY PSYCHO SUICIDE ATTACK

Harry Grimoire said: "Fuck this shit, if I´m going to die, that will after I fuck Felicia in front of Jon Talbain" and then he used his magic to teleport himself very far away of the place where we were fighting. What a fucking coward wuss.

"Fucker!" I told him just before he left the place, and that made me realize that saving myself and my friend Dave depended on me, so I reunited all the energies that were left on my body to make a psycho suicide attacks which made me able to cut one arm and one leg from Barotao, but at the cost of losing one of my feet.

"Ouhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, my arm." He said, and then he also said: "Ouhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, my leg." And all I could say was: "Ouhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, my feet."

But even when my psycho suicide attack managed to hurt him badly, Barotao was angrier than ever, and he started screaming like the crazy son of a b**** he was:

"FUCKER WHY YOU DID THIS, NOW YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT BECAUSE I WILL KILL YOU!"

And then he said with a very calm and soft voice: "But first…I will your dear dragon friend!"

"No, don´t do that motherfucker!" I told him, but even when I did that, he was ready to squash the unconscious Dave between his big ugly fingers.

DAVE SUPER MEGA FORM

Everything seemed lost then, but suddenly a bright light started to shine around Dave´s body: The appearance of my dragon pal changed instantly, becoming more humanoid-like, and he also gained a lot of new energies, which he instantly used against Barotao, completely destroying that fucking bastard the blink of an eye.

"Wow, I wasn´t expecting to get my mega evolution in such a unexpected manner" Dave said, while contemplating with admiration his new body.

"Way to go, dude!" I said, but then I asked: "Wait, you said Evolution? That´s means that you are a Pokémon, like me! I thought that you were an alien, you filthy liar!"

"Well, I´m Pokémon and also an alien." He answered me. "Pokémon doesn´t only exist in one planet, there are many Pokémon planets besides yours, dude!"

"Oh…I guess it´s ok, then…" I said, and then I started to contemplate the new body of my Dragon friend since I wasn´t blind anymore due my last evolution: He was very muscular and handsome, despite being a reptile humanoid. He had a big you-know-what, which wasn´t ugly and mutant-like the one from Barotao, so I liked watching it, but the whole situation was very awkward for both of us because I was naked too, and I was having an erection (No homo) and Dave suggested that we should try to get some clothes.

"Ok, dude" I said, without stopping looking at his big and pretty you-know-what (No homo) "But after we get the clothes, we are going to hunt Harry Grimoire or abandoning us in the battlefield!"

"Whatever…" Dave said. "But would you stop looking at my penis?"

"No," I answered him, and then my dragon pal sighed with an expression of annoyance on his curiously attractive humanoid face.

RESURRECTING THE DEAD ONES

Before we started our search to find that filthy bastard coward of Harry Grimoire, Dave decided to use of his new powers to resurrect his dead reptilian humanoids monster children: He only had to put his right hand in their corpses to bring them back to life, and they were happy to be alive again.

"Hey, Dave," I said then. "Why don't you use to resurrect all the people who died during our battle against Barotao? (Not that I care that much about humans, anyway)

"I would do that if I could…" Dave said. "Sadly, it seems that I can only resurrect the dead beings by touching their corpses, and the people who died during our battle was completely disintegrated to dust, so I can´t do anything for them."

"What a shame," I said, trying to pretend give a shit about dead humans. For some reason, Dave and his children looked at me as I was some kind of asshole. I don´t know what´s their problem, I just said what I think.

Anyway, explored the ruins of the destroyed city we found a couple of corpses, and Dave brought most of them to life, but they weren´t able to remember anything that happen. We also find some human arms, legs and feet in the ruins, and since we couldn´t resurrect the respective owners of those body parts, we ate those limbs for dinner.

HARRY GRIMOIRE´S CAVE

After the dinner, we started the search for Harry Grimoire, that fucking coward asshole. After searching in some random places, and we finally found him, masturbating in some cave which was filled with pictures, inflatable dolls, and hentai drawings of Felicia.

"Oh my God, what the fuck are you doing here, you scumbags?" Harry asked us, with an angry expression on his face.

"You fucking traitor!" I said. "You abandoned us in the middle of a battle!"

"Dam right!" Dave intervened. "You promised us that you will help us to find our friends Xavier and Amanda, we even pay you in advance, and when we were in trouble, you just ran away!"

"Yeah, so what?" Harry asked us. "It´s not like we are friends anyway!"

"Fucker, I will kill you!" I said.

But then…Dave reminded me that we still needed the help of that douche in order to find our friends Xavier and Amanda, so we had to offer him a second chance after all:

"Okay, we can forgive your coward act of betrayal if you help us to find our friends Xavier and Amanda…" I said. "But if you betray us once again, I swear that I will cut you off that fucking hand you use to play with yourself like a 13-year-old punk!"

Harry Grimoire remained indifferent to my threat, but accepted to help us because we promised him to pay more money for his work.

"But you will have to wait till the end of my 'pleasure' time, fellas…" he said with indifference. "Because Harry Grimoire doesn´t start a big search around the world without masturbating this…"

"Dear God, you are so disgusting" I told him, but he glared at me, while saying that if I dared to interrupt him while he was doing his perverted stuff, he will use his magic once again to transform me into a blue bear with a fedora. I hated that, and I promised myself to kill him if he dared to do that shit again.

So we have to wait until Harry Grimoire was done with his perverted activities, and we had to see him fucking a blowup doll during the whole afternoon. After he did that, he started crying, and then he drank some beer he had on a little fridge inside that cave. It was something very gross to watch.

MENTAL TRAINING

"Okay, bitches," said Harry Grimoire once he was done with his perverted stuff. "It´s time for you to start your mental training!"

"Mental training? What the fuck are you talking about, dipshit?" I asked, but then Harry put down his pants and ordered us to get naked.

"What? Why?" Dave asked, and then I told Harry Grimoire that I thought that he was done with his perverted stuff, but Harry glared at us and said:

"Eww, it´s not that, fags, but in order to do your mental training, you will have to remove all your clothes, fucking faggots!"

"Why we need to do that kind of mental training, anyway?" I asked, and Harry Grimoire started then a pseudoscientific explanation about how mental training would allow us to project ourselves to different part of the Universe in order to find our friends Xavier and Amanda in a relatively short time, but I didn´t understand anything of all what he said; I just wanted to tell him to shut the fuck up, but I knew that he won´t listen me: He was having a 'diarrhea of words'.

We finally accepted his retarded terms and conditions for his gay mental training, but I reminded Harry that if he was lying to me, I would cut his fucking head off.

Before removing his clothes, Dave ordered his reptilian children to leave, because he thought it wasn´t appropriate for them to see his daddy naked.

"Oh, but I guess that is okay seeing fucking Harry Grimoire HAVING SEX with a fucking blowup doll, huh?" asked one of the reptilian children in a sarcastic manner, but Dave told him: "Hey, don´t dare you to talk me in that way, Dave Jr.!" but his reptilian son didn´t want to listen him and started to listen music in one MP4 he stole from one of the corpses we found in the ruins of the city.

MENTAL NAKED TRAINING BONDING (NO HOMO) AND MENTAL PROJECTION

Once we were naked, we were ready to start our mental training inside the cave and we had to do every single shit fucking Harry Grimoire ordered us: It was something dumb, pathetic, boring, disgusting and embarrassing to do, as if that stuff was borrowed from a fanfic or some shit like that.

Anyway, once we were done with that shit, our mind started to float across the space, and Harry Grimoire told us that we finally achieved the state of mental projection.

"How this shit is going to help us to find Xavier and Amanda?" I asked.

"I made a very long and detailed explanation a few hours before, retard!" Harry Grimoire said. "Weren´t you listening?"

"Nope," I answered, and Harry Grimoire glared at me.

Harry Grimoire then explained us about how our mental projection was able to follow the tracks left by the thoughts of other living beings about us or some shit like that:

"However, finding the individual thoughts of one specific being is an incredibly hard task, which could take us even eons in this plane of existence, which would be only a few minutes on earth…"

"I found them." Dave said.

"What?" Harry Grimoire asked.

"I found Xavier and Amanda"

"What the fuck? How could you be able to do that in such a short time, you dipshit?"

"I just followed the thought tracks related with my friend Max Wolf that didn´t have any hate in them…" and then he added the following, while looking at me:

"Dude, a lot of people in the universe hates you…"

"Fuck all those losers…" I answered. "I could kill all of them easily but I won´t because I don´t a give a shit about those twats!"

We followed the thought tracks of Xavier and Amanda, and it leaded us to the planet Mars.

MARS IS FUCKING COLD, MAN

Once our mental projections landed on Mars, Harry Grimoire used his magic to magically teleport our psychical bodies there.

Even when there wasn´t any oxygen in Mars, we were able to survive there thanks to our great magical powers, but if we had been normal human beings we probably have died instantly, so if you are a normal human being and someday you travel to Mars, please don´t forget your own spacesuit.

Harry was only able to teleport our bodies but not our clothes and weapons, so we were naked in that red planet, and that annoyed me a lot because it was fucking cold there and only my great super powers kept me alive, so I politely asked Harry Grimoire if he could teleport the clothes and weapons we left on earth.

"Do it or I will smash your head and eat your brain!" I said angrily and Harry glared at me.

"Dickhead, do you know how hard is to do a trick like that? Do you think my power are fucking limitless?"

"Perhaps if we put our bodies were close to each other, we will gain some warmth…" Dave suggested and Harry Grimoire told him to fuck off:

"If you two were Felicia and Morrigan I would do that without a second thought, but sadly that´s not the case, so go to hell!"

"Perhaps if the only way we could get some warmth…" Dave insisted but Harry didn´t accept his suggestion:

"Go fuck yourself!" was his only answer.

Anyway, we soon get used to the cold weather of Mars, and we started the search of our friends Xavier and Amanda. Our search took several hours and we were affected by some giant monsters made of snow, but we killed all those bastards easily, making them explode with a simple glimpse of their powers.

I tried to eat their brains and innards, but they had nothing but a lot of ice and cold crystal inside them.

WARS ON MARS

A few hours later…

To our surprise, we found some ruins of a big city in the middle of planet Mars, and I asked myself in a very loud voice:

"What the fuck is going here? There is a city on Mars?"

"Some time ago while I was looking for Darkstalkers rule 34 pics on the Internet I found a very stupid story about a secret city being built on Mars by the American government, but I thought that it was only some kind of conspiracy bullshit! I never expected such kind of bullshit to be true!"

We explored the ruins, but weren´t able to find anything else besides a bunch of frozen skulls and some destroyed machinery.

"It´s like there have been a war going on here…" Dave said, but then a devastating blast of energy was sent to us, and we barely were able to evade it.

"Dude, what the fuck?" I said, and once all the dust and blizzard which was generated by the explosion was dissipated, I was able to saw a horned giant made of pure energy.

"So, we meet again, Harry Grimoire…" the giant said, and Harry glared at him.

"Pyron, you fucking bastard…" He said. "What the fuck are you doing here on Mars?"

"I´m now the Emperor of Mars, motherfucker! And I also killed all the puny human beings which tried to create an Earth colony here in case of a nuclear war, just for fun."

"Fucking bastard, I will kill you for doing that!" Harry Grimoire screamed and he instantly used one of his spells to made Pyron explode, but he quickly reintegrated every single one of his particles and punched Harry Grimoire in the stomach.

"Harry!" Dave said in a very melodramatic manner, but before any of us could react, Pyron used his evil energies to hurt us badly.

"How you like that, motherfuckers?" He asked while he was hitting us, but then a big green giant appeared in the place, and took Pyron by surprise with one of his violent attacks, which was able to send Pyron away in a very humiliating manner.

"What the fuck?" Was the only thing that Pyron was able to say in those moments before being sent away, but I knew that he wasn´t dead yet.

Once the battle was temporarily over, the green giant with purple pants looked at us with a curious expression on his face:

"Who the fuck are you?"

HULK

"Who the fuck are you?" asked again the green giant with purple pants.

"Well, I´m Max Wolf obviously!" I proudly answered him.

"Never heard about you," the green giant answered me and that pissed me a lot, and then I asked:

"Who are you anyway?"

"I´M THE HULK!" the giant screamed and then fucking Harry Grimoire went on fangirl mode and started to enthusiastically scream like a little bitch:

"OH MY GOD, HE IS THE FUCKING HULK, ONE OF THE FUCKING AVENGERS! SHIT, THIS IS, LIKE, THE HAPPIESTDAY OF MY LIFE!1!"

"Don´t talk Hulk about the Avengers because Hulk is no longer Avenger!" Hulk told us with a very angry voice, and the he asked:

"Why you are naked?"

"Ehem…" Fucking Harry Grimoire answered him. "Because you can teleport clothes and weapons with magic?"

"Holy shit!" Hulk said. "You are a magician? I want you to do a magic trick!"

"You know, I don´t really think that this is the best moment for that, Mr. Hulk…" said fucking Harry Grimoire, but then Hulk eyes went rage and he seemed really angry at those moments, while was saying the following:

"Do a magic trick for me, OR I´LL SMASH YOU!"

"Okay…"

Fucking Harry Grimoire had to do then a couple of stupid magic tricks for Hulk (He actually made some origami figures with a piece of paper Hulk borrowed him, but the green giant didn´t seem to notice that and he enthusiastically clapped his hands as he was some dumb little kid, and once after all this nonsense was over, I asked:

"Can you tell us what are you doing here on Mars?"

My question made Hulk angry: His eyes turned red he started foaming at the mouth. For a second I thought that he was going to smash us, and I was ready to fight against him, but then he calmed down and he answered my question with a very soft, non-threatening voice:

"Nick Fury sent me and my team of Hulks to fight against the evil aliens who invaded Mars and killed the scientists that tried to found a human colony here. He chose me and my team to do that job obviously for great capacities for smashing stuff, and it wasn´t because he was tired of my uncontrollable destructive behavior and he wanted to get rid of me of me and all the others who are like me, right?"

"I don´t know…Yes?" I answered him, and for some unknown reason my answer made Hulk happy and he decided to take us with him to his spaceship were his Hulk team was waiting for him and he said that now were officially BFF or some shit like that. I said: "whatever, dude" and Harry Grimoire screamed like a little bitch once again.

HULK AND THE OTHER HULKS

In Hulk´s spaceship we met the other Hulks who were Red Hulk, She-Hulk, Grey Hulk and some weird ass blue robot we didn´t care about. They said "Hello!" when they saw us, but only She-Hulk asked why were completely naked, and Harry Grimoire invented some bullshit reason that She-Hulk just pretended to believe, but then some giant mechanical spiders started to attack the spaceship and tried to kill us.

I decided to use my superpowers to fight against those bastards, making all of them explode with a mere glimpse of my energy, but then Pyron appeared accompanied by an army of evil mechanical monsters.

"I AM THE KING OF MARS NOW!" Pyron screamed while commanding his team of evil mechanical beings, which were ready to annihilate us, but then Hulk and the other Hulks joined the battle, and that´s what the moment when one super mega epic battle started in the red sands of Mars.

HULK LOSES HIS PANTS

We fought against the mechanical monster commanded by Pyron in an intense battle which lasted at least eight hours on earth, but none of us was tired, and we all had the burning desire to smash Pyron to his dead: Compared with us, the so called Lord of Mars was nothing but a wuss who depended completely of his mechanical army and his evil computer who then programmed two giant mechanical replicas of Dimitri Maximov, Anakaris and Lord Raptor to fight against us (Harry Grimoire told me earlier that day that the originals died in one previous battle he had against them many years ago, when he still had hopes to have some sexy time with Felicia and other bullshit)

Anyway, those robots were very powerful and nearly indestructible but then one of their attacks ripped completely Hulk´s pants, and for some reason that triggered an even more intense anger in the green giant who went full Berserk mode and started to speak like he used to do some time:

"AAAAAAARRRRRRGGHHHHHGGGGGG! HULKS HAS NO PANTS NOW! HULKS FEEL SO FREE!"

After he said those words, the green giant jumped over the robotic replica of Dimitri Maximov and was able to destroy it completely with one single punch. The robotic replica of Lord Raptor tried to attack him, but Hulk simply punched that mechanical monster in the stomach and made it explode instantly.

"Cool!" fucking Harry Grimoire said, but then Pyron send more mechanical monsters to fight against us.

Due his state of intense anger, Hulk was unable to contain himself and started peeing over the evil robots sent by Pyron, melting all of them with his acid urine. (Author´s note: This is probably non canon, since the Marvel comic books hasn´t specified yet that Hulk´s urine have such kind of properties)

By doing that, Hulk was able to defeat an entire army of mechanical monsters, and Pyron said: "Oh, dear, I think I´m fucked now!" but once he started for help like a little bitch, his computer lover assistant (his spaceship) send a special tractor beam to rescue him just in time before we could have the chance to smash his head like a fucking egg.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO!" screamed Hulk in anger.

INSIDE PYRON´S SHIP

Suddenly, Harry Grimoire said:

"I will use my magic to teleport us inside Pyron´s ship! There we will have a chance to smash him!"

"Do it then, faggot!" I said, and fucking Harry Grimoire glared at me, but he did his magic trick anyway, and we were teleported to the ship, but since he wasted a big part of his power during the last battle, he was only able to teleport me, Hulk, Red Hulk and himself.

There we found Pyron, and we gave him a good beating, while he was screaming for mercy. His stupid computer assistant tried to help him sending some mechanical monsters to protect his master, but Hulk and Red Hulk smashed them with ease.

Hulk grabbed Pyron by his neck and demanded him to know the reason behind the murder of the scientists who were trying to fund a colony in Mars, but was afraid to give any kind of appropriate answer, so Hulk ripped one of his arms, making him scream in pain like a bitch.

I suddenly had a bad feeling, and one lazer beam was sent to Pyron´s ship, almost making it explode, but the computer programmed a super defense system to keep us alive.

"Dude, what the fuck?" I said, trying to understand the situation, and suddenly one of the screens inside Pyron´s ship got activated, and we got the image of one ugly motherfucker demon Pokémon.

"Hello, Max Wolf." He said, with a teasing tone which pissed me off a lot.

"Who the fuck are you?" I demanded to know.

A NEW ENEMY APPEARS

The demon Pokémon introduced himself as Spooky, a ghost-type Pokémon owned by Solomon Phoenix, my old enemy.

"Let me guess…" I said, with annoyance. "You are trying to avenge your dead master?"

"Yes, but I´m also trying to destroy you for my personal gain. You see, once I defeat you I will able to take control of Mars and…"

"Blah, blah, blah…Please, don´t bore us with your tedious gobbledygook." I answered him with disdain.

"Oh yeah?" He said, grinning evilly. "So I am boring you, fucking wolf? Well, in that case, I WILL SHOW SOMETHING THAT WON´T BORE YOU, STUPID CUNT, SO PAY ATTENTION!"

"I just don´t care…" I said, but then Spooky showed me one big dark magical mirror which had my two robotic friends Xavier and Amanda trapped inside.

"FUCKER, WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO THEM!" I screamed, and then I said with my threatening voice: "RELEASE THEM OR I WILL KILL YOU INSTANTLY!"

"Oh, how threatening…" that cunt answered me, giggling in a very effeminate manner. That pissed me off a lot. "But you don´t have to worry, my dear Max Wolf, because your stupid robot friends aren´t dead yet. You´ll see, this is the magic Dark Mirror owned by Slaweel Ryam, the Witch of Hearts. Last year I killed that whore in order to use her magical devices for personal purposes.

One of those devices was a magical scepter, which contained an ancient evil spirit called Count Graduon, who had the power of the clairvoyance, allowing me to predict your arrival to this miserable planet of hairless apes. Along with much less brilliant partner Jojo Dynamo, I elaborated a ridiculously complicated plan to capture your stupid robot friends in order to bring you to several deadly situations where we had all the advantages. Sadly, my partner wasn´t competent enough to eliminate you when he had the chance, so I had to get a new partner…A much more incompetent one…"

"Who are you talking about? Me?" Pyron asked.

"Yes, you, Pyron…" Spooky answered him. "I had to admit that considering that you are nothing more than big space nerd, you managed to did a reasonably competent job bringing Max Wolf here to Mars, where I now the chance to eliminate him…Even if I had to evaporate you in the process…"

"WHAT?!" Pyrson shrieked in horror. "B-b-but you said that I was going to be the new king of Mars once Max Wolf was defeated.

"Well, I lied." Spooky answered him. "Say goodbye to existence, idiot…"

After he said those words, Spooky sent another deadly ray towards Pyron´s ship, expecting to destroy us. However, a few seconds before our imminent destruction, Harry Grimoire was able to teleport us outside the ship, which exploded instantly after our escape.

AN IMPORTANT MISSION TO DO

Pyron and his spaceship were completely destroyed, but we barely managed to escape from the deadly attack of our new enemy, the ghost-type demon Pokémon from Solomon Phoenix, called Spooky.

Harry Grimoire teleported us to a safe place where we reunited with Dave, She-Hulk and the others, but he was left completely exhausted and almost without any kind of vital energy, so She-Hulk decided to take Harry Grimoire with her back to the ship in order to get some medical attention for him.

"I think we all should go back to the ship…" commented Red Hulk with an angry expression on his face. But I answered him:

"No. Not yet…There is still something I had to do…"

"What do you mean?" Dave asked me, and I pointed the place on Mars where the deadly beams that destroyed Pyron´s ship came from.

"That motherfucker demon Pokémon had my friends Xavier and Amanda as his prisoners. I´m going to rescue them…And after that, I will kill that motherfucker and eat his innards for dinner!"

"But you can´t do that alone!" Dave told me, but I said him that I was going to be fine.

"This opponent isn´t like any other we have faced in the past…" Dave commented with concern, and then he made the following suggestion:

"I will go with you!"

"Okay." I said him

"I will go with you too" said Hulk. "Hulk wants to smash the head of that ghost motherfucker who tried to kill us!"

"Fine," I told him.

"I want to go to, but can´t I get some pants first?" asked Red Hulk, trying to remind us that we were completely naked, but we didn´t care about that.

"No time for doing that." I answered him, and Red Hulk said:

"Damn it."

A few seconds after that, me, Dave, Hulk and Red Hulk were running to the place on Mars where we were expecting to find the evil demon ghost-type Pokémon Spooky, who had my friends as his prisoners, while She Hulk, gray Hulk and the blue robot dipshit carried fucking Harry Grimoire with them back to the their spaceship in order to get some medical attention for him.

**_To be continued in part 4…_**


	4. Part 4

**PART 4**

THE FUCKING EARTHQUAKE

While we were walking across the red sands on Mars trying to find that evil motherfucking cunt demon Pokémon from Solomon Phoenix called Spooky, there was a big fucking earthquake, which was strong enough to break down many of the biggest ice formations on Mars, and we had to move very fast in order to don´t be smashed by all those fucking ice fragments that fell all over Mars.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Dave asked me, and I didn´t know what to answer him, but then there was another terrible earthquake, and one big motherfucking castle started to emerge from the ground in front of us.

"What the fuck?" I asked myself in a very loud voice.

THE UNDEAD ARMY FROM MARS

"What the fuck?" I asked myself in a very loud voice. "There is a motherfucking castle on Mars?"

The castle was just as a big as motherfucker Mount Everest and had at last 100 towers (That´s not counting the other 150 magical floating towers that were rotating around the castle) Then we heard a horrible shriek coming from the distance, and there was another earthquake and this time, several ghosts, demons, skeletons warriors, zombies and vampires started to appear from inside the castle, and all of them started attacking us, so we fought back, and that´s how we started smashing the heads of those undead motherfuckers.

A FUCKING FIERCE BATTLE ON MARS

We bravely fought against that evil undead army for at least eight hours, but we weren´t tired at all. However, it soon get fucking bored, because those undead creatures never died even after we killed them, so Dave and I had to reduce those bastards to dust using our magic energy.

However, an evil wizard who was hidden in one of the towers of the castle used his dark evil magic to turn all the sand and dust into giant monsters that attacked us, so Hulk and Red Hulk smashed those bastards but they quickly regenerated their destroyed bodies, so I realized that I had to kill the evil wizard who created those abominations in order to completely annihilate them.

KILLING THE EVIL WIZARD

I asked Hulk to throw me to the place where the evil wizard who created the sand and dust monsters where hidden. He doubted to do that, so I insulted him, calling him ugly and that pissed off him a lot so he throw me far away to the place where the wizard was hidden. Once there I found the wizard who tried to put a spell on me, but I was faster than him, killing the bastard instantly using just a little glimpse of my energies, which was more than enough to reduce him to a bunch of dust.

Once the wizard was dead, the giant monsters he created using his magic were disintegrated instantly, and we thought that the battle was finally over and that we won.

HOLY SHIT, MOTHERFUCKING MARS DRAGONS!

However, the battle wasn´t over yet, because Spooky appeared then, carrying on his hands the scepter that contained the evil spirit of Count Graduon and that motherfucker said:

"Fuckers, don´t think that the battle is over yet, you still haven´t won!"

I tried to kill him, but the bastard was a ghost, so he was already dead and I couldn´t kill him. Then he used his evil magic to summon a bunch of motherfucking dragons that were hibernating inside some glaciers, but when they were summoned the glaciers were defrosted and those motherfucking dragons were liberated and extended their wings to fly towards us: Those dragons were fucking incredibly big and each one of them had the size of a mountain, and each one of those motherfuckers tried to smash us with their big motherfucking claws and tails covered with corrosive acid fluids and fucking sharp spikes.

SHIT SPOOKY LOST CONTROL OF HIS DRAGONS

Spooky watched us with disdain, while we were trying to dodge all the attacks of the motherfucking Mars dragons he summoned with the help of Count Graduon: That bastard laughed at us, and said that our suffering was the funniest thing he ever saw in his entire motherfucking life. I called him "Motherfucker", but he didn´t care, and then Hulk tried to jump where he was, but one of the dragons tried to block him, but Hulk used his acid urine to melt one of the eyes of the dragon, which started to scream in pain in a horrifying manner : The pain of that beast was so intense that it started to whip with his tail everything that was close to it and in that way, the dragon ended destroying many of the towers of Spooky´s haunted castle, and that pissed off that motherfucker much to our amusement.

"No, fucker, don´t destroy my castle!" screamed Spooky and after he said that he used a spell on the dragon, making it explode, and we were covered by their innards and bloods. The other dragons were angry at this, so they used their powers to destroy Spooky and his haunted castle, destroying it instantly, but the motherfucking Spooky was able to survive using Count Graduon's magic.

"YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, YOU MOTHERFUCKING DRAGONS!"

"Holy shit, I don´t like where this shit is going," I said, with a concerned look in my face.

FUCKING SPOOKY AGAINST THE DRAGONS

The dragons combined their different destructive powers to annihilate Spooky, but he protected himself using Count Graduon's magic, which created a magic shield for him. However the destructive power of the dragons was too much and it started to defrost all the ice on Mars, something that could cause the destruction of the entire planet.

"We have to return to our spaceship with the others!" Red Hulk suggested and Hulk said: "Duh, motherfucker, I bet it took you hours to think about that!"

Red Hulk didn´t like Hulk´s sarcasm, but it was no time to start a discussion and we had to run in the fastest way we could.

FUCKING SPOOKY IS EATEN BY A DRAGON

"NO! You won´t escape from me!" Spooky exclaimed when he saw us running from the battlefield. He tried to use his motherfucking evil magic to stop us, but before he could do that, one of the dragons ate him.

"Well, it seems that finally get rid of that motherfucker," Red Hulk said with relief.

"Duh, motherfucker, I bet it took you hours to think about that!" Hulk replied, sarcastically.

NOT OVER YET, MOTHERFUCKERS!

"I´m not yet dead, motherfuckers!" said one voice which came from inside the dragon. It was Spooky…He wasn´t dead yet!

A few seconds after that, Spooky used his evil magic to make the dragon explode and we once again were covered with the blood and the innards of that beast. Then, Spooky appeared in front of us, assuming his superpowered evil form which was also incredibly ugly.

"Ha, ha ha!" Spooky laughed evilly. "I now have Count Graduon's powers because I fused my body with the scepter that contained him, and now he and I are one and the same!"

"Oh shit!" Red Hulk said. "I think we are fucked!"

"Duh, motherfucker, I bet it took you hours to think about that!" Hulk replied, sarcastically, once again.

"Enough with that!" Red Hulk said, with annoyance.

THE BATTLE OF MARS DRAGONS AGAINST SUPERPOWERED MOTHERFUCKING SPOOKY

Spooky laughed at us and then announced that he was going to exterminate us using his fucking incredible new powers, but before he could use his evil spell on us, the dragons from Mars started attacking him, and that pissed him off a lot, so he used his evil magic to made the dragons explode one by one, but before he could exterminate all of those dragons, the surviving Mars dragons elevate their inner power to the infinity and were able to reach their super evolved states, becoming more powerful than ever, and joined forces to fight against Spooky.

"Fucking dragons, stop bothering me!" screamed Spooky, and he tried to use his magic to made the dragons explode, but they were too powerful for him now, and all the surviving dragons used his most destructive attack against that evil motherfucking demon Pokémon at the same time. Spooky tried to defend himself, but the collision of forces created a mega destructive wave that started to cover the whole planet, so we had only a few minutes to escape before Mars was completely destroyed.

"Holy shit, I don´t like where this is going. We better leave," I said.

ESCAPE FROM MARS

We ran away back to the spaceship owned by Hulk and his team, but the destructive wave was every second closer at us, so Hulk decided to use his super strength to throw us to the place where the spaceship landed in order to be there in a shorter time, and once we were there, he made one of his super jumps and that´s how we reached the spaceship just in time before the destructive wave could reach us.

"NOOOO, COME BACK HERE, I´M NOT DONE WITH YOU ASSHOLES!" screamed a giant face made of dust and sand (Kinda like the one from The Mummy, but this one was better, more epic and all that shit) It was Spooky! The fucking bastard wasn´t destroyed yet!

We entered the spaceship in the fastest way we could, and once we were inside of it, we told She Hulk: "Lift off this ship NOW or we are DEAD!"

"What the fuck is happening?" she asked and I told her: "No time for explanations, we need to escape from this shitty planet NOW!"

The spaceship successfully blasted off from Mars just in time before the entire fucking planet exploded. During the explosion, we heard a horrible scream from Spooky:

NOOOOO, YOU FUCKING BASTARD, YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, YOU´LL SEE BITCH, THIS ISN´T THE END FUCKING MOTHERFUUUUUUCKEEEEEEEEEER!1!1!1! YOU SUCK!"

And then Mars was entirely vanished from existence, and Spooky was completely destroyed. It was a flawless victory for us.

THE REACTION ON EARTH ABOUT THE DESTRUCTION OF MARS

_Meanwhile on Earth…_

People were fucking astonished when they saw planet Mars exploding from the fucking distance. Most people were like: "What the fuck is happening?" And most of those wusses were completely scared and worried, but all the cool people from earth were not scared or worried about the random explosion of planet Mars.

_Meanwhile, on S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier…_

Fucking Nick Fury was fucking annoyed of seeing fucking Spiderman doing some wacky stuff on his desk to impress him, but then he was informed about the destruction of Mars and he was angry at Hulk and his team about that, so he started screaming many random profanities:

"FUCK, SHIT, PISS, CUNT, FUCKING HULK AND HIS FUCKING SHITTY PISS CUNT TEAM! WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE DONE NOW, FUCKING FUCKERS YOU FUCK! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, AND FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! MARS IS GONE FOREVER NOW, FUCK, FUCK, FUCKING FUCK!1!FUCK!

Spiderman was shocked of hearing so many profanities at the same time, but he didn´t say nothing anyway.

XAVIER AND AMANDA ARE FOUND

After the explosion of planet Mars, and once we were going back to planet Earth in the spaceship owned by Hulk and his team I said myself in a very loud voice, while facepalming: "HOLY SHIT, I FORGOT ABOUT XAVIER AND AMANDA, THEY WERE TRAPPED INSIDE THE MAGIC MIRROR THAT WAS INSIDE SPOOKY´S HAUNTED CASTLE, BUT THE CASTLE WAS DESTROYED BY THE MARS DRAGONS, SO NOW THEY ARE DEAD, WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO NOW?!"

"Hey, idiot, look at this…" fucking Harry Grimoire told me in a taunting tone, and I was ready to punch him in his fucking nerdy face, but to my surprise XAVIER AND AMANDA WERE INSIDE THE SPACESHIP, AT HIS SIDE! HOLY SHIT!

"Hello, master!" Both robots said politely. They were still trapped inside the magic mirror, but I didn´t care about that, because they were still alive. I was so happy that I just hugged the mirror as a complete dumbass mofo.

FUCKING HARRY GRIMOIRE WASN´T FUCKING COMPLETELY USELESS AFTER ALL, FUCK

"How the fuck you did this, fucking Harry Grimoire?" I asked him in a very educate manner, so he answered me: "I used my magic to magically teleport myself inside Spooky´s castle, and while he was distracted fighting against you, I stole the mirror, and I used my magic to teleport myself back to the ship."

"But I thought you were left completely exhausted and almost without any kind of vital energy…" I said.

"I was, but then I got better after sleeping a few hours." Fucking Harry Grimoire answered me, and then I remembered that Dave, Hulk, Red Hulk and I bravely fought against that evil undead army for at least eight hours, so fucking Harry Grimoire had enough time to recover himself. Holy shit, I guess that fucking Harry Grimoire wasn´t entirely fucking useless after all!

RELEASING XAVIER AND AMANDA

Xavier and Amanda were safe in the ship, but they were still trapped inside the Dark Mirror Hole, so I asked fucking Harry Grimoire about how we were going to release them of the evil magical trap.

"I don´t know!" fucking Harry Grimoire answered me. "Who the fuck you think I am? Mandrake the Magician?"

"B-But you are a wizard!" Dave told him, and fucking Harry Grimoire answered him:

"Yeah, but I´m not fucking almighty. If I was, do you think that fucking John Talbain would be still alive?"

His answer angered me a lot, and I want to punch fucking Harry Grimoire in the face, but then Xavier and Amanda talked to me:

"Master, Spooky told us that the only way to break the spell of the Dark Mirror Hole is combining the power of the seven Sonichu balls, which are on earth."

"Exactly where on earth?" She-Hulk asked. "Can you be more specific?"

"We don´t know! Spooky only told us that information to taunt us, because he was an evil motherfucker!"

I was surprised to hear them saying the "m" word, but I didn´t said anything.

BACK TO EARTH

"I think that first we should return to earth, and then we will find the way to find those 'balls'…" Red Hulk said, and Hulk snorted.

"Heh, you said 'balls', motherfucker…" and Red Hulk grunted with annoyance.

Even when we all found funny the fact that Red Hulk said "balls", we still agreed with his idea to return first to earth, and then start the search of the Sonichu "Balls". Heh heh.

MEETING THE MOTHERFUCKING NICK FURY

Our spaceship returned to earth, and there we met the motherfucking Nick Fury who was also accompanied by Spiderman, who was doing wacky stuff at his side. Motherfucking Nick Fury was fucking angry, and once our spaceship landed on earth, he started yelling at us:

"FUCKING STUPID FUCKING MOTHER FUCKERS WHAT THE FUCK YOU DID? WHY THE FUCK YOU MADE THE MOTHERFUCKING PLANET MARS EXPLODE, WHAT THE FUCK IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU MOTHERFUCKERS?!"

"Hey motherfucker," I told him, and that pissed Nick Fury off a lot, "Do you have any fucking idea about what the fuck happened in Mars? About the terrible enemies we have to fight there? YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA?"

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU, MOTHERFUCKER?" Nick Fury answered me, and I was ready to punch him in the face, but then Hulk and his team gave Nick Fury a very detailed report about what happened in Mars, including our long and epic battle against Spooky and his undead army.

Nick Fury read it, but didn´t believe it, so he started yelling at us once again:

"FUCKING IDIOTS, DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT I´M GOING TO BE FUCKING STUPID TO BELIEVE THIS FUCKING IMMENSE AMOUNT OF FUCKING BULLSHIT? THIS FUCKING REPORT IS NOTHING BUT A FUCKING LARGE HEAP OF FUCKING BULLSHIT! FUCKING BULLSHIT AND NOTHING MORE!"

His angry reaction stretched the Hulk's patience, so Hulk told Nick Fury to fuck off:

"I had enough of you, motherfucking Nick Fury," Hulk said. "It´s not my fucking problem if you don´t believe us about what happened in Mars, we told you the truth, and if you don´t want to believe it, well, that´s your fucking problem!"

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY, FUCKING BITCH?" Nick Fury said in a very taunting tone, but Hulk just punched him in the face. Fortunately for him, Hulk only used a tiny bit of his strength against him, so Nick Fury survived, but lost many of his teeth and his nose was broken.

"FUCKING BITCH, YOU CAN´T FUCKING DO THIS TO ME, FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER!" Nick Fury said, but Hulk just ignored him.

ANOTHER FUCKING NEW JOURNEY STARTS

After that incident we left the place, and Hulk and his team decided to quit their job at S.H.I.E.L.D., because Nick Fury was fucking annoying. I told them that Dave and I will have to start the search of the Sonichu Balls in order to release our friends Xavier and Amanda from the Dark Mirror Hole.

"Can we go with you?" Hulk and his team asked me. "We could help you, at least until we find another job…"

"Yeah, whatever…" I answered them, and that´s how we started the search of the Sonichu balls accompanied by Hulk and his team. Oh, and fucking Harry Grimoire went with us, because he didn´t have anything more to do.

OBLIGATORY FILLER BEACH CHAPTER

We were tired of so much bullshit happening lately, so we went to the beach, were we had some fun and played some volleyball, and then Hulk lost his swimming suit while he was swimming and everybody laughed, except Nick Fury because he was still upset because I called him "Motherfucker" the other day.

Fucking Harry Grimoire videotaped the whole event and uploaded it to Youtube, but the video was removed two days later due some "inappropriate content" bullshit policy of that website.

SOME STUPID FILLER CHAPTER

One night Xavier and Amanda watched The Silence of Lambs while eating some fries. Amanda was scared of Buffallo Bill, but Xavier told her: "Don´t worry Amanda, Buffalo is not real." Amanda said: "Oh, ok then." Then they said "good night" to each other and went to sleep.

That was the whole fucking episode, fuckmunch. Nothing more happened.

_**To be continued in part 5…**_


	5. Part 5

**PART 5**

THE SEARCH OF THE SONICHU BALLS

We started the search of the Sonichu balls in the afternoon, after Dave sent a text message to his horrible mutant reptilian children that were born from the giant he puked while he was fighting against Barotao, informing them about the search of the Sonichu balls.

"I´ll be back in some months, I think. Meanwhile you can stay in Harry Grimoire´s cave."

"Tell your horrible reptilian children to don´t touch my box with naked pictures of Felicia!" fucking Harry Grimoire told Dave before the start of our journey, but Dave forgot to do that.

THIS CHAPTER DOESN´T HAVE A FUCKING TITLE

"How the fuck are we going to find the Sonichu balls?" Hulk asked me, while we were wandering across a very big and dark forest, filled with thugs , rapist and murderers which we killed with ease after skinning them alive.

"I don´t know," I told him, while I was skinning alive one of the thugs. Then I decided to ask one of the tortured thugs if he knew how to find the Sonichu balls.

"AAARRRGGGHHHHHT! FUUUUUUUUUUCK! FUUUUUUUUUCK, DUDE! YOU SKINNED ME ALIVE, DUDE, I CAN´T STAND THE PAAAAAAIIIIIIN! FUCK!"

Then he asked me to kill him, so I killed him, and put on his skin as a joke. For some reason none of my partners find that funny. Fucking humorless twats.

THE ATTACK OF THE RAPIST DRAGON

We had fun killing and mutilating those thugs, rapists and murderers, skinning them alive and stabbing their genitalia in the case of the rapist: However, one of the rapists told us a very strange information while we were torturing him:

"Wait!" he screamed. "Don´t kill me yet…I can help you to find the Sonichu balls…If you stop let me live, I promise I will tell you how to find at least one of the Sonichu Balls!"

"Okay, start speaking then, dipshit," I said, while releasing that disgusting rapist and sexual offender, but once he was free, the fucking bastard started laughing and said:

"You fools, you really thought that I was going to help you? Retards!"

He then tried to escape, but we were able to catch up with him, so the bastard got angry and said:

"Fuckers, you will never be able to defeat me because I´m one of the Vere Celen?"

"Huh?" I asked, with a confused expression on my face, but then the disgusting rapist transformed into a giant dragon demon with six heads, and his cock become a fucking large stinging tail which he used against us, but Hulk simply evaded his attack and then ripped off five of his six heads, leaving the bastard almost dead.

"Fuck…No…" he said, while he was agonizing.

"Who the fuck are you? Why you were able to transform yourself into a dragon?" I asked him, but he refused to answer, so Hulk removed grab his poisonous stingy tail and removed it from his body, causing him an intense pain beyond description.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" he screamed, "Why did you did that, now I suffering more than ever, please kill me!"

"I won´t kill you until you tell me truth about you!" I told him with an angry expression on my face.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" the bastard rapist. "Okay fucker, why you want to know?"

"Why you were able to transform into a dragon? Who are you?" I asked him once again.

THE EVIL VERE CELEN

While the disgusting dragon rapist was agonizing, he told us that he was one of the Vere Celen, a super powered race of alien dragons which secretly invaded in earth disguised as humans in order to prepare the planet for the Second coming of his god, the supreme mega dragon of cosmos, called Diminox, which ruled an entire planet of fucking demon dragons.

This revelation shocked Dave a lot, because back then in his home planet his people had a legend about a fucking evil Dragon Pokémon that tried to destroy the entire universe called Diminox, but who was defeated by a group of brave heroes in a battle that took place 90000 years ago.

"After that battle, Diminox was completely destroyed and the Universe was saved, how could you say that he is having a second coming?" Dave asked, and the dragon rapist glared at him:

"Fucker, you are fucking stupid: Diminox wasn´t destroyed, he was simply trapped in another dimension, but he is going to be free soon and he will rule the Universe once again and no one will be able to stop him! Mwahahahaahhaha!"

Then he said that he was tired and suffering an unbearable pain and politely asked us to finally kill as we promised.

"Ok, then, fucking rapist," I said, and with a mere glimpse of my power I was able to completely destroy the body of that disgusting dragon rapist, reducing it to nothing more than a bunch of dust. ;)

After that, almost everyone (except me, because I´m way too fucking cool to be scared of anything) were worried and concerned about the future of earth, and asked themselves how much of those Vere Celen would be hidden on earth, disguised as humans.

"How we would be able to stop this secret invasion?" fucking Harry Grimoire asked with concern.

Nobody was able to answer him, and we all stayed silent while we tortured and skinned alive the remaining thugs and murders we found in that big forest.

ANOTHER ENCOUNTER WITH THE FUCKING EVIL VERE CELEN

After we killed those thugs, murderers and rapists, we stole some of their money and stuff to buy some food and other stuff.

After the lunch, we were ready to continue with our search for the Sonichu balls, but first we had to return to the forest where we let the corpses of all the thugs, murderers and rapists that we killed after skinning them alive, because we have to bury them according to fucking Harry Grimoire.

To our surprise, when we returned to the place, we found there a bunch of very ugly creatures that were eating the corpses of those despicable thugs, murderers and rapists. That pissed me off a lot, because I had the intention of eat some of those corpses, but those fuckers didn´t left anything for more, only the bones and I said:

"FUCKERS, YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!" And then I used my magic to make all those fuckers explode, but one of those fuckers evaded my deadly attack and said…Well, I don´t remember what he said, but that fucker was actually a fucking Vere Celen and turned into a bigger, uglier monster which ate the remains of his dead partners to become more powerful, bigger and also uglier.

"Oh, fuck," I said "Now what?"

A BATTLE IN ANOTHER DIMENSION

The fucking ugly Vere Celen dragon used his evil powers to brieflt sent us to another dimension, where we had to fight him, along with many other fucking disgusting monster that tried to tentacle rape us (specially to She-Hulk) but She-Hulk was faster than the fucking evil dragon, and with a fast movement was able to dodge the attacks of the tentacle rape monsters from another dimension, and since she moved just in time, the fucking disgusting Vere Celen dragon was the one who was raped and exploded shortly after that, sending us back to our dimension.

"What the fuck was that?" I asked, but everyone else was just as confused as me.

A NIGHT ATTACK BY NIGHT

That night we decided to return to fucking Harry Grimoire´s cave, since we didn´t have any other place to stay while we were searching the fucking Sonichu Balls, but by night we were suddenly attack by a group of ninjas who also were Nazis (We knew that because their ninja uniforms had some swastikas on them) who attacked us using their ninja magic, which was ineffective on us, and as a revenge I used my power against them, making those fuckers explode.

"Well, that was easy," I said myself, but then one of those Nazi ninjas who survived my attack turned into a Vere Celen dragon which tried to eat me and my partners but Dave was faster than the bastard, using one his special techniques which made that fucking Nazi ninja dragon explode in a very gruesome manner, covering us with his smelly guts and black blood. It was very disgusting, yet curiously arousing.

"Fuck," I said myself. "Now our enemies had fucking Nazi ninjas on their sides. How are we supposed to fight against that?"

"Well, at least they weren´t pirates" fucking Harry Grimoire said, and we all laughed, but then we remembered that we were almost killed by some Nazi ninjas so we stopped laughing.

BACK AT FUCKING HARRY GRIMOIRE´S CAVE

That night we were able to arrive at fucking Harry Grimoire´s cave, where Dave found all his horrible reptilian children who welcomed him, being very happy to see him alive. By other side, fucking Harry Grimoire was happy to have once again another chance to masturbate at his collection of nude pictures and hentai drawinings of Felicia, but then discovered than one his favorite pictures was covered with cum, and it wasn´t his own cum, but the cum of one of Dave´s children who was exploring his sexuality during the time we were searching the Sonichu balls: That angered fucking Harry Grimoire a lot, who started to claim that he was going to kill Dave´s children for doing that, but Dave told him: "Come on, Harry don´t be a fucking wuss, that´s not enough reason to kill somebody…"

Fucking Harry Grimoire calmed down and said: "Whatever…But if they touch my stuff again, I will fucking kill them all without any fucking hesitation…"

Dave forced his kids to promise to never let his cum in any of the many pornographic pictures fucking Harry Grimoire owned, and once the fucking matter was fucking over, we all went to sleep.

"Good night everybody," Dave said, and everyone told him to fuck off.

A FUCKING NIGHT VISION DURING NIGHT

That fucking night I had a fucking vision where I saw once again the fucking god of magic, who was a giant tiger who lived in another dimension, in case you didn´t remember it, you easily distracted dimwit.

"Greetings, Max Wolf," that fucking tiger told me. "Have you found your father yet?"

"No, I haven´t, you stupid pussy fucker!" I replied him angrily. "What kind of god you are, if you don´t know that?"

"Just because I´m a god, that doesn´t mean that I´m completely omniscient, darling" he answered me in a very polite manner, but I was still angry at him for appearing in one of my dreams.

"What the fuck do you want, fucking god of magic? Why the fuck have you appeared in one my fucking dreams, you fucker?"

"Darling, there is no need to use such kind of bad language…The truth is that I only wanted to know if everything was ok…"

"Yes, everything was ok until you appeared, you pussy fucker!" I mumbled to myself.

"Well, I´m glad things are going well for you, Max Wolf…" the god of magic said, and then he was ready to leave my dream, but then I remembered to ask him if he knew something about the Sonichu Balls:

"Do you know where we could find those fucking balls? We need them in order to release our friends Xavier and Amanda from the Dark Mirror Hole!"

"Of course darling…If you want to find the Sonichu balls, the only things you need to do is to go to a city called CWCville. That is the only place where the Sonichu balls could be. I think is somewhere on Viriginia…"

"Are you sure of that, god of Magic?" I asked that fucking large tiger.

"Of course I am! But now I must go. There is other stuff I have to do… "

After the god of magic said those words, he abandoned my dream and I woke up, with a headache. I started to swear a lot in the middle of the night due my headache and that annoyed my partners, who started to insult me. Intolerant fuckers.

THE ROAD OF CWCVILLE

At the next day I talked with my friends about the vision that I had the last night, and they told me: "Well, we will have to go to CWCville to find those fucking Sonichu balls, then…"

We thought that our new journey could be very dangerous, so we decided to left Xavier and Amanda (which were still trapped inside the Dark Mirror Hole) inside fucking Harry Grimoire´s cave, along with Dave´s horrible-looking reptilian children.

So after the breakfast we started our journey to CWCville which was on Virginia. But first we had to go another city in order to buy some stuff we could need for our travel like food, fancy clothes and stuff like that. Good thing we still have some of the money to buy all that stuff we wanted.

HELPING A LITTLE KID

While we were buying some stuff in the city there was a little kid who tried to steal my food but failed miserably and I told the kid: "Hey kid, don´t you know that stealing is bad?"

"I know, "the kid replied me. "But I wanted to eat something and I don´t have any money because my father spent everything on drugs and crack. He is a drug addict."

I feel sorry for the kid after hearing his story so I gave him about $1,000, but the kid told me that if his dad saw the money he was going to spend it on more drugs and crack which were sold by an evil drug dealer know as Anthony Bruno, who was a fucking disgusting redneck who hated gays, immigrants and people from other races and countries.

I told the kid: "Well, then I´m going to solve that".

THE EXTERMELY VIOLENT ELIMINATION OF ANTHONY BRUNO

I went to the fucking drug plantation that Anthony Bruno had somewhere in the middle of the jungle: I was able to find it thanks to the Internet, which also allowed me to discover the nickname of fucking Anthony Bruno, which was FetishFoot, or something like that.

There I destroyed all the drugs and murdered all the thugs who tried to stop me, and once I was done killing all those fuckers, I went for Anthony Bruno, ready to murder him in the most violent way anybody could imagine.

As I expected, Anthony Bruno turned out to be a very disgusting lard ass fatfuck loser who was also bald and a greasy redneck who was fapping to several kiddy feet porn pictures he found on the Internet at the moment when I found him.

"What the fuck, who the fuck are you?" that fatfuck asked, and I replied: "Shut the fuck up, You disgusting fatfuck, and I punched him in the face."

Since Anthony Bruno was the vilest and most repulsive person I´ve ever met, I decided to exterminate him in the most violent way I could think instead of simply murdering him, so the first thing I do was to cut all his fingers with a rusted knife, and then I used the same rusted knife to cut his ridiculously small genitalia. Then I skinned him alive, and while he was agonizing, I used my energies to burn him alive and while he was burning, I told him:

"That will teach you to don´t sell drugs and to don´t exploit the addictions of others for personal gain!"

Then I burned the house, and I leave.

TEACHING A BAD FATHER A LESSON

I was ready to return with my partners, but first I had to the house of that little kid who had a drug addict father: He was inhaling cocaine at the moment I arrived, and he was shocking to see me:

"What the fuck?" He asked, still under the cocaine effects. "Who the fuck are you?"

I replied him: "Shut the fuck up, imbecile" and then I slapped him and gave that fucker a very good beating. Then I gave that fucker the following advice:

"Stop being a drug addict and be a better father for your son, you despicable scumbag! If you don´t do that, then I will have to kill you, fucker!"

He then started crying and then I left the house.

THE SEARCH CONTINUES

I felt much better with myself after helping that little kid and his drug addict father, so when I was reunited once again with my friends, I told them about what I did.

"Stupid fucker!" fucking Harry Grimoire said once my narration was over. "Do you fucking realize that during the time you were torturing some random drug addict, we had to fight against an entire army of those Nazi ninjas?"

"Yeah, dude," Dave said. "We were worried about you! We thought that the Vere Celen captured you!"

"I wasn´t worried about that dumb fucker!" Red Hulk commented, and I glared at that fucker but he ignored me. Fucking fucker son of bitch.

"There is no way the Vere Celen could have captured me, because I´m too powerful for those fuckers!" I said, and fucking Harry Grimoire laughed. "Yeah, sure. Whatever dude…" he said in a mocking tone, and I glared at him.

We continued our journey to CWCville, and I promised myself to kill fucking Harry Grimoire someday.

THE CITY OF CWCVILLE

A few hours later, we arrived at CWCville, but to our surprise the city was empty and most of the buildings were turned into ruins.

There was a big, rusted sign at the entrance of the city, with the following message written on it:

_"The city of Cwcville, a vibrant community with good people and average among of cool places to chill at."_

However, the sign was covered with lots of profanities and offensive drawings. The picture of the major which accompanied the message was vandalized too, being now covered with pickles drawings and some senseless words such as "JULAAAAAAY!" and other stuff like that.

"What the hell happened here?" But there wasn´t anybody to answer me. My companions looked at me with bewilderment. I didn´t knew what to answer them, but suddenly there was a very violent earthquake in the city and hundreds and hundreds of those fucking Nazi ninjas started to appear in the city.

"Oh, fuck!" I said. Then a very violent battle started.

A SUPER MEGA EPIC BATTLE AGAINST THE NAZI NINJAS

We had to fight against that evil army of fucking Nazi ninjas for at least six hours: Those fuckers were hard to defeat because every single fucking time we killed one of those fuckers, their dead bodies transformed into two new Nazi ninjas ready to fighting, and the whole thing started all over again. It was fucking endless battle, but then fucking Harry Grimoire told me that those ninjas were created with evil magic, and the only way to annihilate them was destroying the source of the evil magic.

"But how the fuck are we supposed to discover the source of the evil magic?" I asked.

"I think I could use my magic to detect the source of the evil magic, but that would require a lot of time and concentration and those fucking Nazi ninjas doesn´t stop appearing and attacking us!" Fucking Harry Grimoire replied me; at the same time he smashed the head of one fucking Nazi ninja who tried to attack him.

"You know what?" I said fucking Harry Grimoire. "We will fight against those fuckers while you reunite enough magic power to find the source of their evil power!"

And after I said that, I used my magic energies to make at least 300 of those fucking Nazi ninjas explode, but after they died, their corpse turned into 600 new Nazi ninjas so I made them explode once again, and then they were 1200 ninjas and I said: "Oh fuck, I guess that I will have to exterminate each of one you personally!"

The battle turned intense from that point, but we had to fight in the best way we could againsy an enemy that couldn´t be killed, while fucking Harry Grimoire was trying to find the source of their evil power to exterminate them.

THE FIRST SONICHU BALL IS FOUND

Fucking Harry Grimoire needed at least two fucking hours to reunite enough magic power and concentration to find the source of the evil power which was creating all those fucking Nazi ninjas. When he finally detected it, our enemies were more than a billion, and their number was constantly increasing.

"There is it!" Fucking Harry Grimoire said, pointing a ruined building. "The evil magic source which is creating all those fucking Nazi ninjas is there!"

And just after he said that, he used his magic to create a magical arrow he throw at that place he was pointing, making it explode instantly.

"What the fuck" I said, and then all the Nazi ninjas turned into a very disgusting substance that looked and smelled like cum.

Then we heard a violent howling, and from the ruins of the building fucking Harry Grimoire made explode came a very ugly creature that was uglier than anything that I saw before. Iwas some kind of mamal, but damn, he was so fucking ugly I had hard time watching. He was also bleeding to his death and before dying he glared at us: "No, bastards, what have you done to meee…I think I am going to…auuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhhg" and then he died.

Shortly after he died, he assumed an human form, and then he exploded.

We were very confused by that, but then I noticed something shiny in the middle of the ashes of that motherfucker…It was one of the Sonichu balls! I recognized instantly thanks to my great magical powers.

It took that Sonichu ball in my hand, and then I said triumphantly: "Look, guys there is a Sonichu ball here! We finally found one of them! Yay!"

MORE FUCKING TROUBLE MAN

When I took the Sonichu ball in my hand, my partners started staring me in a very stupid manner, so I asked them: "Why you are looking me in that way, motherfuckers?" and then I realized there was a giant Vere Celen dragon behind me.

"Oh, shit," I said.

DIE, EVIL DRAGON, DIE!

The evil Vere Celen dragon ate me, but once I was inside of it, I made the fucking dragon explode using my great powers, and my partners were covered with the blood and guts of that monster.

"Ew, gross" they said, and laughed at them. But then, there was an evil cackle in the air, and I scream: "What the fuck? Who are you, show yourself?"

Then a very sissy looking demon appeared in front of us: He was all red and he wearing nothing but cut-off jean shorts.

"Who the fuck are you?" I demanded to know.

BEEL

"I AM Beel, you motherfuckers." The effeminate red demon answered me. "I see you eliminated my good partner, the great sorcerer Wes iseli, but let´s see if you are strong enough to fight against me!"

And just after he said that, Beel used his demonic powers to summon more of those fucking Vere Celen dragons, which instantly invaded CWCville.

"Fucker!" I exclaimed angrily. "What´s your connection with those fucking evil Vere Celen dragons anyway?" I demanded to know.

"I am not telling you, because I don´t like you, since you don´t match my shallow perception of beauty based solely in my twisted perception of sexuality!" he replied me, sticking out his tongue."

"Fucker." I said with my threatening voice.

DARKBIND SONICHU

The evil Vere Celen dragon summoned by Bele attack us with all their strength, and even when we were able to kill some of them, we still were outnumbered by them, and we also were exhausted by our previous battle with the army of Nazi ninjas, but I didn´t wanted to give up yet.

However, when all hope seemed lost, a strange purple creature wearing a strange armor appeared and used a silver sword to cut the heads of many of the Vere Celen dragon, taking Beel by surprise.

"What the fuck? Darkbind Sonichu, you are still alive?!" He asked with an angry expression on his face.

"That´s right, fucker, and I will make you pay for what you did to our beloved CWCville! Get ready to die, bastard!" that mysterious creature replied Beel, while glaring at him.

DARKBIND VS BEEL

"Well, it doesn´t matter if you are alive or not, Darkbind Sonichu…" Beel said, laughing. "You will die as the other Sonichus from this city…"

Darkbind ignored that last comment and he jumped towards to the place where Beel was, taking that fucking effeminate demon by surprise.

"What the fuck…?" the demon said, but before he could react, he used his silver sword to cut the head of the demon.

However, the battle wasn´t over yet, and Beel´s head started laughing. That fucking demon was still alive!

"Fucker," Beel´s head said. "Do you really believe that such kind of lame attack will be able to kill me? Don´t you realize that i´m now more powerful thanks to the blessing of my new master, the great Diminox!"

And after the fucking demon head said those words, a giant snail came from its mouth and it tried to eat Darkbind Sonichu, who tried to fight against it in the best way it could.

I tried to help that strange creature called Darkbind, but many Vere Celen dragons blocked my way, so I had to defeat them first, making them explode, but somehow all their blood and guts transformed into a new fucking monster which was powerful and uglier.

"Fuck," I said. I was almost without energy, and my partners were too tired to continue fighting… Everything seemed lost then.

AWAKENING THE SECRET POWER OF THE SONICHU BALL

Everything seemed lost then, but then I heard a strange voice coming from one of the Sonichu balls, calling me by my name.

"Fear not, Max Wolf…I, the great inner spirit of the Sonichu ball, will concede you the power you need to defeat Beel!"

"What the fuck?" I said, completely confused by the situation, and then a very bright golden light covered my entire body, allowing me to obtained a new superpowered form which was more awesome than all my previous transformations, because this new form had a super cool golden armor with many incredible superpowers.

"This couldn´t be happening..." said Beel, who in those moments was ready to exterminate Darkbind Sonichu. "He is not even a Sonichu, how come he was able to awaken the secret inner power of one of the Sonichu balls? Unless…"

Those were the fucking last words of that demon, because I instantly used my new powers to create a devastating energy blast which was strong enough to evaporate Beel from existence.

Once that fucking gay demon died, all the Vere Celen dragons he summoned exploded and were turned into cum and my partners said: "Ew, gross…" but then fucking Harry Grimoire noticed that among the ashes of Beel there was another Sonichu Ball, which was blue.

"Fuck, yeah, we found a second one!" I said enthusiastically. "It must be our lucky day!"

GOING TO RULECWC

"I will take this…" Darkbind Sonichu said, taking in his hand the blue Sonichu ball.

"Hey, that Sonichu ball belongs to us, fucker!" I said, with my threatening voice. "I was the one who killed Beel, so I deserved that Sonichu ball, not you!"

However, just after I said those words, there was another violent earthquake, and then many giant demon shadows and skulls started to appear all over the place.

"Oh, fuck!" Darkbind Sonichu said. "I think we should escape from this place, and later we will talk about who deserves this Sonichu Ball…"

"Hey, with my new powers I can defeat all this fuckers anytime I want…" and then I started to use my new powers to pulverize my enemies, but suddenly I lost most of my new powers, and I feel exhausted again.

"What the fuck happened!" I said, and then I started to yell at the Sonichu ball I had in my hand: "What the fuck happened?" but then more and more enemies started appearing, and most of them seemed uglier and stronger than the Nazi ninjas and the Vere Celen dragon. My stupid companions were too exhausted to fight, so we had to accept the help of Darkbind Sonichu, who started to recite some kind of weird spell which teleported us instantly to a completely different place, which looked like some sort of medieval kingdom or some shit like that.

"Where the fuck are we?" I demanded to know, and Darkbind answered me: "You are now in RuleCWC, my kingdom, and the only place where we could safe from the attacks of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens."

THE EVIL DOINGS OF THE PRIVATE VILLA OF CORRUPTED CITIZENS

"The Private Villa of Corrupted citizens! Fuck!" I said, and then I added: "Who the fuck are they?"

A giant water drop appeared at one of the sides of Darkbind Sonichu head, who looked at me as if I was some kind of retard. I hated him for doing that.

"The Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens is the place where all the evil forces that constantly attack CWCville live. At first, in that place there was nothing more than some dang dirty trolls, but once the Witch of Hearts called Slaweel Ryam was able to wake up Count Graduon and other evil spirits, the evilness from that place increased in a 95%, and then things started to get worse when Slaweel Ryam made an evil alliance with some reptilian wizards that worshipped a space demon dragon called Diminox."

"Diminox, FUCK!" I said, but then Darkbind Sonichu told me to don´t interrupt his stupid narration.

"The reptilian wizards used their evil magic to steal the Sonichu balls from their sacred temples, and gave it to some residents of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizen who accepted to help them to wake up their evil demon dragon god from its Eternal Sleep, and then they betrayed Slaweel Ryam, killing her and raping her corpse. They also turned every single resident from the Private Villa of corrupted citizens into fucking superpowered demons that invaded CWCville…Our major and his loyal Sonichu companions bravely fought against the invader, but without the Sonichu balls, they weren´t able to defeat their new enemies and were murdered without any kind of compassion.

I was able to rescue a very few people and baby sonichus from CWCville, but most people from CWCville was murdered or turned into a demon…Only RuleCWC was safe from the attack thanks to a magic barrier created by our best wizards and my beloved Zelina in order to protect us from our imminent destruction.

My beloved Zelina recommend me to stay in RuleCWC in order to protect the only Sonichu ball that wasn´t stolen, but the power of our wizards is fading, so I returned to CWCville trying to stole the Sonichu balls from our enemies…And then our first encounter happened…I have to say that I never expected to see a human to be able to use the inner powers of the Sonichu ball…"

"I´m not a fucking human…I´m a Poochyena!" I said, but fucking Darkbind ignored me.

"Whatever…I think we should rest some time in order to recover our energies…Then we could try once again to recover more of the Sonichu balls…"

"Ok," I said, but inside my mind I was saying myself: "The Sonichu balls belongs to us, fucker! We need it in order to release our friends Xavier and Amanda!"

And in that way, I and my friends went to RuleCWC along with Darkbind Sonichu, carrying two of the Sonichu balls with us.

FILLER CHAPTER OF PART 5

Xavier and Amanda were reading Fifty Shades of Grey and Amanda said: "I don´t get this."

"Me neither" answered Xavier and they both stayed confused for the rest of the day.

THE ACTUAL STATE OF AMERICAN COMEDY

(A filler chapter)

Seth Rogen farted and then smoked some marihuana and then he said a lot of profanities. Then he had sex with a hot blonde chick that loved his wacky adorkable antics, and smoked more marihuana and pot, and said more profanities. So funny.

(End of filler chapter.)

ANOTHER STUPID FILLER CHAPTER

Xavier and Amanda illegally downloaded "The Green Inferno" directed by Eli Roth from some website, then they watched the whole movie and they didn´t like it, and thought that it was shitty, so they write a bad review of it on the Internet.

Xavier wrote the following text in some Internet forum:

"I swear to God. I will kick your ass Eli Roth. Learn how to make a Fucking movie. HOW MANY MOVIES HAVE YOU MADE NOW!? YOU HAVEN'T LEARNED A DAMN THING!? The only thing you made that was any good was that fake trailer for grindhouse."

Everyone lolled at this forum post, except Eli Roth who felt sad when he read that post made by Xavier, and then started crying. What a faggot.

**To be continued in part 6…**


	6. Part 6

**PART 6**

THE CASTLE

Some moments later we arrived at some shitty castle where a bunch of stupid soldiers received us and asked us if we were enemies. I was ready to punch those fuckers in the face, but than Darkbind Sonichu told them that we were survivors from the great destruction from CWCville.

"Whaaaat? That´s not fucking true, you filthy fucking liar…" I was ready to say, but then Darkbind told me to shut the fuck up, and I hated him for doing that.

ZELINA ROSECHU

Inside the castle there were a lot of ugly mofos that looked like they were borrowed from some shitty RPG game: Elves, gnomes, dwarves, knights, princesses, fairies, pixies, giants and all that shit. They all were talking at the same time about some kind of nonsensical crap I don+t even bothered to listen, but I think that it was something related to Diminox. Whatever, I didn´t give a shit about that, because I´m too cool to give a shit about anything.

Anyway, Darkbind introduces us his ugly girlfriend called Zelina, who was a wizard a said: "Nice to meet you…Ooooough!"

Then she started coughing blood, and I said: "Eww, gross, that´s so disgusting!" but fucking Harry Grimoire asked her if she was ok:

"Don´t worry," she said. "I´m only slowly agonizing because I´m spending too much of my magical power (Note: I think that Zelina doesn´t have magical powers, but in my story she does, so shut the fuck up) in order to protect RuleCWC from the evil powers of the invaders of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens."

"Oh, ok then." Fucking Harry Grimoire said. And then he and Princess Zelina became best friends ever and Darkbind was jealous of that. I didn´t give a fuck about because this isn´t a shitty romance story.

THE KINGS OF RULECWC

After coughing some blood, Zelina introduced us her parents, who were the kings of RuleCWC and also were human, and that was the reason of why I asked Zelina: "How the fuck your parents could be humans if you aren´t a human being?" Darkbind and fucking Harry Grimoire glared at me, and Zelina told me that she was adopted.

"Oh, ok then." I said.

The king and queen from RuleCWC ordered their white magicians to cure us, and thanks to their help we were able to recover our energies.

SOME FUCKING RANDOM OWL

Once we were cured, the king and queen of RuleCWC asked Darkbind if he was able to recover the Sonichu Balls from CWCville, and Darkbind Sonichu replied them: "Yes" and then he showed the king and queen of RuleCWC the two balls he had.

That angered me a lot, so I said: "Hey fucker, remember that I was the one who recovered those fucking Sonichu balls, so they belong to me!"

Then fucking Harry Grimoire said: "Technically speaking, I was the one who killed the evil guy who had one of those Sonichu balls, so technically speaking of those balls belong to me" but I told him to shut the fuck up, and I was ready to fight against Darkbind Sonichu, but then some fucking big random owl appeared from one open window in the castle and I say: "WHAT THE FUCK?"

KING ALISTAIR

"Who the fuck are you?" I asked that fucking large random owl and the owl said:

"My name is King Alistair."

Darkbind Sonichu then called that fucking large owl "his master" so I asked him: "Why the fuck are you calling that fucking large random owl your master?"

"Because he was the one who trained me along with a rogue master swordsman, fucktard," Darkbind replied me, looking at me as if I was some kind of retard (I´m not) and I fucking wanted to kill him for doing that.

"We shouldn´t be fighting each other." King Alistair said then. "Our true enemies are in CWCville, we should join forces against them…"

"But how?" fucking Harry Grimoire asked.

THE PLAN

King Alistair said: "I saw everything what happened there in CWCville…You fought bravely against Beel…"

I was ready to ask that fucking large owl why he didn´t help us if he was in CWCville during our battle against Beel and the Vere Celen Dragons, but fucking Harry Grimoire interrupted me:

"Let him speak." he said. And then King Alistair made the following speech:

"For some unknown reason, your friend was able to activate the secret power of one of the Sonichu balls, something that only the beloved major from CWCville was able to do…"

"He is not friend…" Darkbind Sonichu said. "He is a rude asshole, and I hate him." When I realized that he was talking about me, I felt very angry, so I punched fucking Darkbind in the face, but then King Alistair told us to stop fighting:

"Enough! Don´t you realize that we have the same enemy? We have to combine our forces to fight against the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens…If we are able to use the inner secret power of the Sonichu balls, I think we will have a chance to recover the other Sonichu balls our enemies still own, and once all of those balls are reunited, we will be able to defeat the bad guys!"

"But how we will be able to do that?" fucking Harry Grimoire asked. "So far, Max Wolf is the only able to use the inner power of the Sonichu ball!"

"Meh, I'm more than enough to defeat all our enemies!" I said, but the other fuckers ignored me. I hate when people ignored. It makes me feel FUCKING ANGRY and with the desire of killing everyone just for fun. And I could have done that, But I didn´t.

"Well, we could show you the Sonich balls we had in this castle. We haven´t been able to use its powers, but maybe any of you could be able to activate the inner secret power of one of those balls!"

"Okay, let´s go to see your two balls!" fucking Harry Grimoire said and Red Hulk snorted.

"Lol, he said 'let´s go to see your two balls'…"

"Is not that funny, Red Hulk," Hulk said.

"Yeah, grow up, that was a fucking immature joke!" She Hulk added.

"B-But…But"

"Lol, he said ' butt'!" fucking Harry Grimoire said, and everyone laughed, including.

"Good one," I said, and we all went to see the two Sonichu balls from RuleCWC.

"I fucking hate you guys. I fucking hate you." Red hulk said.

THE Red & light blue SONICHU BALL

We went then to a very dark room with a big altar inside of it. Over the altar, there were two Sonichu balls: One was red, and the other light blue. They were shining, as if some kind of important shit relevant to the plot was going to happen.

"Oh My Celestia," Zelina said. "Those two Sonichu balls never shined in that way! I wonder if that is a good sign!"

Then she started coughing more blood and fucking Harry Grimoire asked Zelina if she was ok, while I only said: "That´s gross man."

Darkbind glared at me, and I was ready to fight against that fucker, but then the two Sonichu balls started to float in the middle of the air.

"Holy shit, what is going to happen?" Hulk asked.

"I don´t know Hulk, but I believe everything happens for a reason." She-Hulk replied him, and then the red Sonichu ball transformed into some kind of super powered red armor and fucking Harry Grimoire started to look as if he was stoned, I think he was in trance or some shit like that.

"I know this armor, I used it in one of my past lives…" he said, sounding stoned.

"Oh My Celestia!" Zelina said, after coughing some more blood. "I wonder if this handsome blonde man could be a relative of Merlin the Magician"

"He was my ancestor…" fucking Harry Grimoire replied her, still sounding stoned.

Then he started to look even more stoned and some red energies started to surround him, and a few seconds after that he started wearing the red armor which was created by the Red Sonichu ball.

"Holy crap, he was able to use the secret inner powers of one of the Sonichu balls! He must be special or something!" Darkbind Sonichu said.

Then the light blue Sonichu ball started to shine and transformed into another armor which was instantly used by Dave, who also started to look stoned as the fucking Harry Grimoire.

"Oh My Celestia!" Zelina exclaimed once again, after coughing some blood. "I wonder if both of you are two of the legendary Seven Sonichu Balls heroes!"

Zelina was ready to explain us about the legendary Seven Sonichu Balls heroes, but then she started to cough blood, and we had to expect some moments, after she started to feel better.

THE LEGENDARY SEVEN SONICHU BALLS HEROES

Once Zelina was done couching blood, she started feeling better and then she explained about the legendary legend of the Seven Sonichu balls Heroes of the legends:

"Here on RuleCWC we had an ancient legend, just like in CWCville there is the Anchuent Prophecy of the Cherokian Clan: The legend says that in our darkest times, when all hope seemed lost, seven noble heroes will appear from nowhere to save us from destruction and will bring order to the chaos that menaces not only our world, but all the other worlds as well!"

"What is all that crap supposed to mean?" I demanded to know, but then there was some violent earthquake: RuleCWC was under attack! I knew then that another battle was going to start, so I got ready to fight, awakening the secret inner power of the yellow Sonichu ball.

THE BATTLE AT RULECWC-PART 1

Outside the castle, there was a fucking army of robots, evil demonic dragons and zombies. All those motherfuckers were leaded by two ugly motherfuckers who were pretty fucking horrible looking demons who were using human skin and bones to decorate their bones.

"Holy fuck, how are we going to fight against all those fuckers?" fucking Hulk asked, and then I said "No problem I am going to use the secret inner power of the yellow Sonichu ball to get rid of all those dumb motherfuckers!" But then, the fucking Harry Grimoire (who still looked stoned) made a weird ass spell that vaporized the evil army in a flash.

"Fuck yeah!" Darkbind Sonichu said, but thanks to my great intuition I knew that the battle wasn´t over yet.

THE BATTLE AT RULECWC-PART 2

A few moments after fucking Harry Grimoire vaporized with his stoned powers the evil army sent by the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens, an entire army of seven-headed dragons arrived at the palce, trying to burn everything. Fucking Harry Grimoire tried to blast them like he did with the evil army, but those motherfucking dragons were protected by some kind of fucking evil spell, so the stoned magical powers from fucking Harry Grimoire were completely useless against that dragons.

The dragons were ready to burn RuleCWC to ashes, but then Dave used the secret inner powers of the light blue Sonichu ball to fight against the dragons, and in that way, he was able to create big motherfucking gunblade which he used against the invaders, making many of those motherfucking dragons explode, covering the RuleCwc lands with the magical blood of those motherfucking evil dragons.

THE BATTLE AT RULECWC-PART 3

Those motherfucking dragons that didn´t explode used an evil spell to summon more of their evil kind to the battlefield, but once they did that I screamed: "Now it is my turn to fight!" and I joined the fight, using the secret inner power of the yellow Sonichu ball to create a fucking incredible thunderous storm which was so powerful that it fried the dragons to a crisp, reducing them to ashes, while I laughed maniacally at thei destruction of those evil motherfuckers.

"Fuckers that will teach you to not invade RuleCWC!" I said, triumphantly, but then the sky turned red like blood, and we heard an evil laugh coming from the distance.

"What the fuck?" I asked myself, and we all looked at the direction where those horrible laughs came from: A horrible man, who was using a mask and a suit made with human skin and bones appeared in front of us, riding a fucking ugly mutated Raikou which was even bigger than the dragons.

"I didn´t expect any less from you, Max Wolf Revolutions…" that ugly mofo said, and I replied him:

"Who the fuck are you?"

THE BATTLE AGAINST FUCKING NAITSIRHC-PART 1

That ugly motherfucker who was wearing that mask made with human skin laughed once again and that annoyed me, so I asked that fucker:

"Who the fuck are you? Answer me, before I kill you!"

"Before I became the servant of the great Diminox, I used to be known as Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc…However, that name doesn´t matter anymore, now that I become a more evolved from of existence…"

"The fuck…?" I asked, but then that fucker called Naitsirhc used one of his most destructive spells against the RuleCWC castle, with the intention of making it explode. However, fucking Harry Grimoire used the stoned powers from the red Sonichu ball to protect the castle, being very badly wounded in the process.

"Harry, no!" screamed Dave, while he was going to help fucking Harry Grimoire, but then Naitsirhc summoned one of his evil Pokémons, a demonic mutated Zapdos which attacked us with a thunderous storm.

THE BATTLE AGAINST FUCKING NAITSIRHC-PART 2

Even when the mutated Zapdos was quite powerful, I was able to cut it in half, in order to give Dave some time to help fucking Harry Grimoire. Our other friends who were in castle wanted to join the battle, but then Naitsirhc summoned to the battlefield an entire army of robots, demons, dragons and zombies which started attacking the RuleCWC castle, so they had to protect it.

"Fucker, you will pay for this!" I said, ready to destroy that new army of motherfuckers, but Naitsirhc started laughing and then he used his evil magic to revive his fucking ugly evil Zapdos as a Zombie, which attacked me once again, so I used my powers to vaporize my opponent, reducing that ugly bird to ashes, but then Naitsirhc used his fucking evil magical powers to transform the ashes into an army of ugly monster which tried to eat me, so I made them explode, but Naitsirhc used his magic once again to transform the dust into a monster.

"Fucker, stop doing that!" I said, but Naitsirhc just laughed, and that pissed me off a lot.

THE BATTLE AGAINST FUCKING NAITSIRHC-PART 3

I was ready to use my mega super fucking epic superpowers against that fucking bastard of Naitsirhc, but that bastard used one of his evil spells to summon a lot of demon monsters to the battlefield, which attacked me and Dave at the same time, and we had to fight in order to protect RuleCWC.

Fucking Harry Grimoire, despite being badly hurt, joined the battle, and used his magic to obliterate many of the fucking demon monsters summoned by the bastard Naitsirhc, but that wasn´t enough to destroy all of them, and soon Naitsirhc summoned more monsters to the battlefield to replace those who died.

"Once you are dead, I will recover the three Sonichu balls you stole from us, and I will use them to bring our demon Dragon God Diminox tot his world, to eliminate all those who oppose him!"

"You bastard!" I said, but Naitsirhc ignored my insults. Fucking bastard.

AN UNEXPECTED TRANSFORMATION

Despite our best efforts, we still weren´t able to stop Naitsirhc, who keep summoning a lot of monsters to invade the RuleCWC castle.

However, inside that castle there was a little Rosey baby who was rescued by Darkbind from CWCVille when that place was attacked by the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens two weeks ago called Cerah Rosey (Yeah, that´s right, she was the motherfucking daughter of Sonichu and Rosechu who were killed one week ago, she was the only one who survived) was filled with so much stress for the situation that she instantly evolved into her full Rosechu mode, and gained a lot of new powers; but despite that she was still fucking useless against Naitsirhc…However, once she evolved, she instantly gained some form of clairvoyance that made she to feel the urge to go to the place where Darkbind Sonichu left the blue Sonichu ball we obtained after defeating Beel.

Her Hispanic nanny called Heather Iglesias asked her: "Cerah, where are you going?"

"I need to go to the bathroom, wait for me," she replied her. It was a lie, because she didn´t went to the bathroom, but to the magical sealed room where Darkbind Sonichu left the blue Sonichu ball we obtained in CWCville after killing Beel.

CERAH BECOMES ONE OF THE SEVEN SONICHU BALLS HEROES

Cerah went to the magical sealed room where Darkbind Sonichu left the blue Sonichu ball we obtained in CWCville after killing Beel; there she used her psychic powers to break the spell that kept the door closed…

Once the door was opened, she grabbed the blue Sonichu ball, and she was instantly able to awake its secret inner power, becoming in that way one of the seven Sonichu ball heroes, and she instantly went to the battlefield, surprising everyone with her apparition.

"Who the hell are you?" Naitsirhc asked her. "I thought that all Sonichus and Rosechus were killed except for Dakrbind and Princess Zelina!"

"No, not they weren´t the only two survivors…" Cerah replied Naitsirhc while glaring at him. "There was another survivor…Me. And now I´m going to avenge my family and friends, you fucking bastard!"

THE BATTLE AGAINST FUCKING NAITSIRHC-PART 4

Naitsirhc laughed after hearing that declaration from Cerah.

"Stupid bitch…You think that you have any chance against me? You are nothing but a stupid Rosechu, and you are going to die like the other whores of your kind!"

Despite that, Cerah wasn´t intimidated, and used one of her new powers against Naitsirhc, sending at least 10 900 arrows made of her energy against her bastard opponent.

Naitsirhc used his evil magic to protect himself, but one of the arrows was able to hit him. At first, it seems like he wasn´t affected by that attack and he started laughing once again, but then he realized that he wasn´t able to summon more monsters.

"What the fuck did you did to me, bitch?" Naitsirhc demanded to know.

"I disabled your magic, fucker! Now I will finish you!" Cerah rosechu said triumphantly.

THE BATTLE AGAINST FUCKING NAITSIRHC-PART 5

"I will not be defeated so easily." Naitsirhc said, ready to do his counterattack, but in that moment I see the opportunity to destroy that bastard, so I used one of my most powerful techniques against him.

Even without his magic, Naitsirhc was able to stop my deadly technique, but in that moment Dave, Cerah and even fucking Harry Grimoire sent their respective attacks against our bastard opponent, and he wasn´t able to handle such kind of power, so he had to ran away from battle like the dirty coward he was, while all the monsters, demons and dragons he summoned were totally vaporized. His two evil mutated Pokémon Raikou and Zapdos were completely destroyed by our attack, too.

In that way, we saved the fucking RuleCWC and also gained a powerful new ally, Cerah Rosechu. But the battle against the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens wasn´t over yet.

THE DECISION TO ATTACK CWCVILLE

shortly after the battle, fucking Harry Grimoirewas healed from his wounds by a group of white magicians from RuleCWC. Also, everyone in the castle was surpised to see that Cerah was one of the legendary Sonichu ball heroes, especially considering that she was nothing more than a simple Rosey a few moments before. Her nanny, Heather Iglesias, was the most surprised of all people.

"I never expecte to see you grow up so fast!" she said.

However, despite our FUCKING AWESOME victory against that bastard of Naitsirhc, the king and queen of RuleCWC seemed worried about something, so Darkbind Sonichu asked them is everything was okay, and they answered him:

"No, everything is NOT ok, Darkbind! If that bastard of Naitsirhc was able to invade RuleCWC, that means that the magic shield that protects our land is fading, and if the situation continues in that way, soon the entire Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens would able to conquer this country!"

After the king and the queen simultaneously pronounced those words, Zelina started to cough more blood than usual, and even when she said that she was ok, if was pretty obvious she wasn´t ok at all.

"No, Zelina!" screamed Darkbind in a very melodramatic manner at the same time she was carrying her bitch in arms. Fucking Harry Grimoire seemed worried too.

To get things worse, other wizards from RuleCWC started coughing blood too. One of them, the oldest one, said with a very concerned voice:

"The effort we are making to create a magical shield around RuleCWC is starting to consume our life force. If we continue in that way, the magical shield will fade completely and we will die…"

"No!" The queen of RuleCWC exclaimed with horror. "Zelina, our beloved daughter will die, and the Private Villa of Corrupted Ciitizens will kill us all!"

"No, that won´t happen…" Darkbind said, while he left the unconscious body of his beloved Zelina over a big wide bed. "I won´t let that happen. I will go to the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens and I will recover the remaining Sonichu balls if that is necessary to save my beloved Zelina from death!"

"We will go with you!" Fucking Harry Grimoire said.

"I´ll go too," Dave said. "RuleCWC needs us!"

"I will go too, in order to get my revenge against the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens for killing my friends and family and for destroying my city!" Cerah Rosechu.

"I will go too, but only because I want to kill all those motherfuckers from the private Villa of Corrupted Citizens!" I said proudly.

HULK, She-Hulk, Red Hulk, Gray Hulk, and the other guy said that they will go with us to CWCville in order to fight against the bad guys.

"I will go with you too…" King Alistair said. "I will reunite an army with my best men and non-men for this battle!"

"Whatever!" I replied him.

In that way, we started to get ready to return to CWCville in order to have our definitive battle against the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens.

Invasion: CWCville!-part 1

Some hours later, we were ready to go back to CWCville in order to recover the remaining Sonichu balls from the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens. We didn´t have very much time, and we had to defeat our enemies before the life-force of the magicians who were protecting RuleCWC was over.

King Alistair brought an entire army of legendary creatures and animals, which accompanied the army of RuleCWC, composed by 5000 men, 2500 elves, 3400 dwarves and 14500 hobbits or halfings or whatever they are called. Some Tolkien shit or whatever.

Anyway, once we were prepared for battle, and once the armies were reunited, King Alistair guided us to a big mountain which had a magical portal that leaded to CWCville.

Crossing the magical portal, we were able to arrive at some ruined area of CWCville, which was infested by some fucking ugly monster and undead creatures. I was ready to blast all those motherfuckers, but then the warriors from RuleCWC army and the magical creatures brought by King Alistair started to fight against those abominations.

"Don´t waste your powers against those weak enemies! Save your powers for the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens!" Darkbind said to us, while commanding the armies that cleared our way to the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens.

INVASION: CWCVILLE!-PART 2

While we were in our way to the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens, we found a lot of robotic jerkops and manajerks who tried to cockblock our way to the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizen using their robotic cocks which missile launchers and deadly rayguns.

I blasted all of them with a very little glimpse of my power, and soon we arrived at the darkest zone of the ruins of CWCville, the place where the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens was. There more evil robots were waiting for us, but Hulk, She Hulk, Red Hulk, Gray Hulk and that other guy smashed them without trouble.

"We will get rid of all those wusses!" Hulk said. "You go to the Private Vila of Corrupted Citizens!"

While Hulk and his team fought against all those evil robots, we went to the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens. A Vere Celendragon with eight heads and eight wings tried to block our way, but fucking Harry Grimoire used his magic to make it explode.

Once the dragon was destroyed, our way to the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens were completely clear, and we ran to that place as fast as we could.

INSIDE THE PRIVATE VILLA OF CORRUPTED CITIZENS

In the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens we found a lot of skulls and corpses: Much to the horror of Cerah, most of them were the people she used to know when she lived with her family in CWCville. All of them were tortured and skinned alive before being killed.

With tears on her eyes, Cerah promised to avenge all those poor saps who were killed by the Private Villa of Corrupted Cititzens…That was the moment when we heard some strange groaning coming from inside a locked room.

Without effort, we were able to open that room, and we found inside of it some strange red bird which was crucified to a wall. It was still alive, but it was agonizing.

"Oh My GodJesus!" Cerah exclaimed. "Is Flame the Sunbird! I thought that he was killed during the invasion of CWCville made by the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens! We have to help him!"

We immediately released that big ugly bird from the inverted cross where he was nailed…Cerah used her magical powers to cure her wounds, making the big ugly bird to regain his senses.

"Hmmm…" he mumbled, as he was recovering from his previous state of unconsciousness. "What happened?"

"Don´t worry, Flame!" Cerah said. "We will take you from this horrible place!"

However, the big ugly bird didn´t seemed very pleased with that.

"No, no!" Flame cawed. "You all are in serious danger! This is a trap! A FUCKING TRAP!"

Just after Flame said those words, two sinister shadows appeared behind us, and used their evil powers against us, as they laughed:

"Now you will be sent to a world of living nightmares!" the said at unison, while they used an evil spell to send us to some kind of alternate dimension before we could react. Cerah recognized then our attackers: They were Bagget and ScotPalazzo, two of the many enemies of the beloved major of CWCville, which sold their souls to Diminox in order to become more powerful.

"You won´t get away with this bastards!" Cerah Rosechu screamed as she was dragged by some kind of interdimensional portal.

The force of the evil spell used by Bagget and ScotPalazzo was so strong that we fell in different parts of that different dimension, where we had to fight against different kind of enemies.

INSIDE AN EVIL DIMENSION

I and Dave fell to some kind of ruins which were floating in the middle of the space.

"Oh great," I said with annoyance. "What the fuck is going to happen now?"

Just after I said those words, the floating ruins were shaken by some strange energy wave and then, a fucking immense space abomination appeared in front us. He didn´t look very friendly.

"What the fuck?" I was able to ask before it started attacking us.

NAITSIRHC LAST STAND-PART 1

"Hey,fucker why you are attacking us?" I asked that fucking abomination with my threatening voice, but as response, that fucker started attacking us with more violence than before, blowing a big part of the floating ruins with a single shot of energy.

"Hey, what the fuuuuuck?!" I screamed, the ruines were exploding.

"Fuckers, you will pay for the fucking humiliation you made suffer during our last encounter!" that fucking abomination said, and I and Dave were all like: "What the fuck is this guy talking about?"

Then, something very fucking disgusting (but also kinda awesome) happened: A big fat and uglyface appeared in the forehead of that fucking space abomination: It was Naitsirhc!

"Naitsirhc? What the fuck happened to you, fucking bastard?" I demanded to know.

"I was transformed into a space monster by our master Diminox as a punishment for my failure in RuleCwc! Fuckers, it was all your fault! You should have let me killing you in the most violent manner!"

"Well, is that what you think, then you can simply go fuck yourself!" I replied him in a very brave manner, but then fucking Naitsirhc started to attack us again, throwing a lot of destructive energy balls from inside of the many mouths he had in his monster form.

We defended ourselves in the best way we could, but Naitsirhc was too fucking powerful and his attacks started to affect our superpowered armors.

"I will redeem myself destroying both of you fuckers! Then I will bring the two Sonichu balls to our master Diminox, who will return me to my original shape!" Naitsirhc said while he was attacking us.

"Oh shit, I don´t like where is this going!" I said to myself and Dave seemed worried too.

NAITSIRHC LAST STAND-PART 2

While Naitsirhc was attacking us, one of his many mouths started to make a very boring and long speech about his motivations, his start in the path of darkness and other shit nobody cared about.

"Before you die, you will have to listen the story of my life!" that bastard said, while he was trying to blast us with some energy balls.

"Oh, fuck, are going to bore us with some kind of gay backstory? Because I don´t give a flying fuck!" I said, with a clearly annoyed voice.

"Shut up!" Naitsirhc replied, freezing me with a freezing beam which let me frozen, in order to force me to hear his retarded backstory:

"Since I was a boy, all I wanted was some little attention and love from my uncaring father Giovanni, who didn´t care about me at all! The only fucking thing he cared about was about to conquer all the fucking world and capturing a lot of legendary Pokémon! But he never brought any kind of love! Could you imagine that he was never present for my birthday? He was never present on Christmas, he never taught me how to shave, and he never taught me how to talk to girls and never taught me where babies came from! Every time I wanted to talk with him, he always said: 'Not now, Naitsirhc, daddy is fucking busy ' or 'Not now, Naitsirhc, daddy is trying to capture some fucking rare Pokémon …', Well, I spent three fucking years of my life trying to capture the rarest Pokémon I could find, and I capture at least 15 legendary Pokémon…But he did a fucking shit about that? No, he didn´t because he was a fucking terrible parent!"

"Dear God, your story is fucking boring, why the fuck you torture me making me listen all that shit?" I asked him, feeling an intense anger of being forced to hear such kind of gay backstory.

NAITSIRHC LAST STAND-PART 3

Naitsirhc continued narrating his gay and retarded backstory much to our annoyance:

"I only became a Pokémon master and captured all those fucking rare Pokémon in order to win some approbation from my father…But he never gave a shit about all what I did! He always was busy, and he never gave me a fucking hug even after I captured that goddamn Mewtwo and made it to achieve his Mega evolved form! And then that goddamn Sonichu and his fat and ugly pink girlfriend appeared to ruin my life, starting an endless chain of defeats and humiliations that made my father lost all the respect my father had for me!"

"Goddamn, why you keep torturing us with your incredibly gay and retarded backstory, if you are going to kill us, do it now faggot, and deliver us having to continue listening you!" I said, being unable to tolerate more of the Naitsirhc bullshit. But no, he just keep talking and talking about a lot of bullshit nobody cared about, and each retarded anecdote he narrated just increased my desire to kill him in a very painful manner.

"But even when I loved my father so much…I had to kill him. Oh yeah, I had to kill him, and then I had to rape his lifeless corpses while forcing Bill the Scientist and Robotnik to watch the whole scene. Because that was what the great and powerful Diminox ordered me to do in exchange of the great powers and awesome feeling of self-esteem he granted to me. His words were very clear, 'Naitsirhc, if you want to become my servant and become more powerful kill your father and all those who oppose me in the most violent and sadistic imaginable way'…That´s why I had to kill all those innocent civilians, and also I had to kill all the Sonichus, including the black Sonichu I used to own, called Blake! That´s why I laughed while I killed, tortured and raped them! I had to do it! My hands were tied! I had no choice! It was my father´s fault, for not being a good father!"

"Dear God, would you ever shut the fuck up and stop whining about your father? That´s fucking gay and I don´t want to hear it! Specially the part when you raped curse!"

"Yeah, dude," Dave said. "I don´t mind you killing your evil father, but raping his corpse…That just plain wrong man…"

"Shut up!" Naitsirhc screamed angrily. "It is my story, and I would tell it in any way I want! Don´t fucking patronize me with your idiotic and useless complaints! I will continue telling you my story and you will hear it without interrupting, you fucking bustards! Now prepare to listen the story of how I raped the lifeless body of my father!"

ACHIEVING A NEW LEVEL OF POWER

I get fucking tired of listening the retarded stories told by Naitsirhc, and my increasing anger allowed me to reach a new level of Power that made me even more powerful than I was before, transforming myself into some kind of god-like mode, with lot of wings, halos, and all that stuff, and I instantly used my FUCKING AWESOME new powers against the bastard of Naitsirhc, who tried to counteract my attacks using some of his retarded ultimate attacks:

"Quee…Fee…Mae…Bo-Bo!" Naitsirhc screamed as a deadly blast of energy came out of one of his biggest mouths, but my new powers were too much for that bastard and I annihilated him instantly, deleting every single trace of his existence in just a few seconds. After he died, he left nothing but purple Sonichu ball behind him, which I took with my hand instantly.

"Another fucking awesome victory for Max Wolf!" I screamed triumphantly as I grabbed the Sonichu ball, and then another fucking inter-dimensional portal was opened in front of us, so I told Dave:

"Let´s got his way, Dave! Maybe is our only way to escape!"

THE BATTLE AGAINTS THE ENDLESS ARMY-PART 1

The portal lead us to a completely different zone which existed in that crazy nightmarish dimension: There we found our friends fighting against an army of crystal soldiers, dragons made of stone, mechanic spiders and giants made of lava. Flame the Sunbird was there, agonizing in some corner.

They had a very hard time fighting against those enemies, so I went to help them using my new powers, blasting all those enemies with nothing more than a mere glimpse of my energies.

However, all those dead bastards were quickly replaced with a completely new army of abominations, which were uglier and also more violent than their predecessors.

"It´s no use!" fucking Harry Grimoire told me. "No matter how much of those fuckers we kill, more of them keep coming!"

"That´s right!" some voice said, while laughing in a very evil manner. "You will be forced to fight forever against that endless army!"

Two floating heads appeared out nowhere, and started laughing at us. They were the two fucking manajerks who send us to this hellish dimension, Bagget and ScotPalazzo!"

THE BATTLE AGAINTS THE ENDLESS ARMY-PART 1

"Faggots, you won´t get away with this!" Cerah said, as she used her magic to throw several arrows to the floating heads, but the arrows went through the heads without doing any harm and Bagget and ScotPalazzo started laughing again.

"Retard, our heads are merely an illusion, you can´t do anything to us!"

Then those two fuckers explained us their fucking retarded evil plan, and I was annoyed of having to hear anything boring villain speech once again.

"Thanks to the great powers the great Demon Dragon god Diminox granted to us, we were able to create an entire dimension to torture you for the rest of the eternity! The dimension were you will be forced to fight against armies of enemies until you die!" Bagget said.

"That´s right!" ScotPalazzo added. "There is simply no way to escape from this dimension! You will die here, and once you are dead, we will take the Sonichu balls you stole from the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens!"

"Oh yeah?" I asked in a taunting manner. "Like your friend Naitsirhc tried to do under his fucking abomination form? Now he is dead and gone!" I said, while I showed the purple Sonichu ball I got after defeating Naitsirhc.

"That faggot wasn´t our friend. In fact, we hated him and we are thankful with you for killing it."Bagget said. "Now as a reward for what you did, you will have a horrible an violent death fighting against endless hordes of enemies until all your vital energies are gone…And when you die, we will take the Sonichu balls from you!"

Immediately after Bagget said those words, the two floating heads disappeared, and an seemingly endless horde of enemies came to kill us.

"Oh, fuck," I said.

THE BATTLE AGAINTS THE ENDLESS ARMY-PART 2

A few moments later, and after killing at least 150000 enemies I realized that it was fucking useless to fight against that endless army of enemies, so I started to plan with my friends a way to escape from that fucking hellish dimension.

"Perhaps if we reunite enough energy, we will be able to create another inter-dimensional portal that will lead us to home!" I said.

"That doesn´t mnake any fucking sense!" Fucking Harry Grimoire said, frowning.

"Do you have a better idea, genius?" I asked him.

"But how we will be able to reach enough energy to do that?" Cerah asked.

"Well…" I said, while I was crushing the head of a skull demon giant. "When that bastard of Naitsirhc told me his fucking retarded backstory, that angered me a lot and that´s how my powers increased!"

"So all what we need is to be very angry o obtain a lot of fancy new powers?" fucking Harry Grimoire asked in a very sarcastic manner which I found retarded and not clever at all.

"Listen me, you stupid motherfucker, if you had any better fucking idea, then please tell us, retard, because I don´t see that you are giving any ideas! Perhaps if you weren´t so much time masturbating in your cave, you will be able to give us a better idea, fucking motherfucker!" I said, and my words angered fucking Harry Grimoire a lot, who was so angry that he was able to become more powerful and his armor changed, turning more badass.

I started insulting the others in order to get the same kind of results, and soon, my companions were so angry that they were able to reach a more powerful state they used to create a fucking destructive attack against me, but I dodged the attack, which fortunately was powerful enough to create a portal to the dimension were we came from.

"Come on! We have to go for this way!" I said and my companions glared at me.

"You aren´t our leader, retard," They said at unison, and I glared at them but didn´t said anything anyway.

THE FIGHT AGAINTS BAGGET AND SCOTTPALAZZO

We escaped from that hellish dimension carrying Flame the Sunbird with us: Once we crossed the portal we created with our energies, we arrived at the place where Bagget and ScottPalazzo attacked us. Both of them seemed surprised to see us back in the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens.

"What the fuck…?" was the last thing they were able to ask, before me and my companions used our new super FUCKING AWESOME powers against them, vanishing those two faggots from existence without trouble.

Once they died, the two Sonichu balls they had inside their bodies appeared: One was light green and the other white. I grabbed those two balls, while I exclaimed

"Oh, yeah! Another fucking awesome victory for Max Wolf!" I said, but my companions glared at me.

"We still haven´t forgive you for the mean things you said." They said, and I was fucking annoyed of the oversensitive attitude of my friends.

THE SEVEN LEGENDARY SONICHU BALL HEROES ARE REUNITED

Shortly after Bagget and ScottPalazzo were defeated, Hulk and his team of Hulks arrived at the place.

"Way to go after the battle is over, cunts," fucking Harry Grimoire mumbled, but Hulk apparently didn´t hear his comment.

"hey, we found the three remaining Sonichu balls…" I said, while throwing the three balls we got to Hulk and his team. "Can you keep them while we fight the bad guys from the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens!"

However, once Hulk, She-Hulk and Red Hulk got the three remaining Sonichu balls, they transformed to even more powerful warriors …They were part of the Seven Sonichu balls Heroes team!

"I guess the Seven Sonichu balls heroes of the Legend are finally reunited!" I said, and the Gray Hulk and that other guy said:

"Hey, what about us? We didn´t get any Sonichu ball to increase our powers?"

"Sorry, no. There are only seven Sonichu balls and only Seven Sonichu heroes."

Gray Hulk and that other guy groaned, and we all laughed.

FLAME THE SUNBIRD DIES

However, we soon have to stop laughing, because Flame the Sunbird was agonizing. Cerah started crying as she embraced that ugly bird.

"Please, don´t die Flame!" Cerah told the bird. "You are one of the very few survivors from CWCVille! I will cure you using my magic!"

"Sorry, cerah…But I´m afraid that your curative magic isn´t going to work. You will see…I was already dead, but Bagget and ScottPalazzoused their evil magic to bring me back to life in order to set their trap for you and your friends…But now they are dead, I won´t able to survive for much time…"

"Noooo! Flame! Don´t leave me!" Cerah said, but Flame was about to die anyway.

"Remember me…As I was…" Flame said, and those were his last two words. Cerah cried, and we remained silent around her.

DIMINOX AND THE REPTILIAN WIZARDS

Shortly after the death of Flame the Sunbird, an evil voice started laughing.

"Who the fuck are you? Show yourself!" I demanded, and then there was a terrible earthquake in the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens, which was so strong we had to escape from that place before it fell down.

Once we escapef from that place, we were able to see a giant demonic silhouette which was surrounded by some fucking ugly reptilian wizards wearing robes.

"I wasn´t expecting any less from the legendary Max Wolf…" the demonic silhouette said, after it stopped laughing.

"Who the fuck are you?" I asked. "Why the fuck do you know my name?"

"Oh, I know you very well Max Wolf…But it seems you didn´t remember me…" the demonic silhouette said.

"Show reverence to our great master, Diminox! He is finally awaken from his eternal sleep!" one of the reptilian wizards said, and that took us all by surprise.

"WHAT?!" I screamed.

"Don´t worry, Max Wolf. You did a splendid job fighting against my servants, But even when you were able to obtain the Legendary Sonichu balls, the amount of negative energy we were able to reunite in this place was strong enough to awake from my sleep…And now I´m awake, I soon will be able to release myself from the magical prison that contains my true form…"

"NO! I WON´T ALLOW THAT TO HAPPEN!" I said, while using one of my most powerful attacks against that bastard of Diminox, but the evil silhouette wasn´t affected by my attack.

"We will fight, but not today Max Wolf…" Diminox said with a very polite tone of voice which infuriated me. "It will be the battle that will decide the destiny of this pathetic Universe…Until that moment, Max Wolf…"

And after he said those words, the silhouette disappeared, taking the repulsive reptilian wizard with them. I wasn´t able to believe that the bastard escaped, and fell on my knees as I started to scream a lot of profanities.

"No, no, pinche cabron, things shouldn´t have gone this way!" I screamed. My companions remained silent, knowing that soon the hardest battle of our lives was going to start.

Darkbind and the others reunited with us a few moments later, saying that all the monsters and evil creatures from the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens were finally gone. They were happy about that, but I couldn´t share their happiness. The battle at CWCville was over, but the war was just about to start.

"Diminox…YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!" I screamed.

FILLER CHAPTER OF PART 6

Xavier and Amanda smelled some roses in the morning and then ate some cookies for breakfast. The end.

ANOTHER FILLER CHAPTER FOR PART 6

Xavier and Amanda had nothing better to do, so they started to read fanfics. They read "Cupcakes", but they didn´t find it to be scary or disturbing at all, and simply considered that story to be nothing special.

**To be continued in part 7… (Is the last one guys! ;)**


End file.
